Love Notes
by aiden28
Summary: Edward is the new guy at school in small town Alaska. He's drawn to Bella Swan, a beautiful mysterious girl. Too shy to talk to her, he leaves notes in books for her. Will he ever let her know its him?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**EPOV**

Today was going to be my first day at a new school. Not that this was anything different from usual. My parents travel a lot and just about every year they find a new place that they just have to move us to. This would be my fifth new school in 6 years. Not that I minded too much. None of the other places held anything of interest for me. This was our biggest move yet. We relocated all the way from Belcher, Maine to Eagle River, Alaska. We'd never moved this far before. But apparently it has always been my mothers dream to come here. She is an interior designer. She's amazing at her job and enjoys moving to new markets to see how she can do. My father gives her anything she wants so here we are. Not that he minds much; he's a doctor and is pretty much guaranteed work wherever we go. I am their only child so I never have any say in where we move. But like I said, it never really matters to me anyways, I'm so used to being the new kid that it's more comfortable than being just anyone. Its one of two ways I stand out. The other is much more annoying. For some reason girls fall over me, though I can't really figure out why. I keep in shape just like any other guy, I've got this weird bronzy colored hair that is a constant mess, I'm only a little over average height and I have the rarest of eye colors, bright green. Nothing super special but females sure do think so. I have never been interested in girls though. My music and school work is far more important to me. I want to get into college without my parents paying for if I can so I get top grades, always. That takes up most of my time so my parents don't make me work and even bought me my most beloved possession, after my piano of course, my silver Volvo. I love it. Nobody drives the Volvo, not even my parents, they don't mind though; they both have two cars of their own. Yeah, so we're rich, no big deal. I'm not spoiled or anything. I've never used money to my advantage at school, but this year I do want to try and come out of my shell more, as we will be living here till I graduate in two years. Thus begins our Alaskan adventure.

I woke this morning surprised that it was so sunny at 6:15 in the morning. Oh yeah, this state is sunny all time during summertime. And this was considered late summer. I quickly showered and got ready for school. Since I was trying to make a good impression I actually wore one of these cashmere sweaters my mother bought me. Of course it's green to bring out my eyes. Everyone says it looks good on me so that's what I'm going with. I grab my backpack and head down to the kitchen where my mom has prepared me a plate of French toast, my favorite.

She looked up from her plate and smiled "Morning Edward. Are you excited for your first day of school?"

I shrugged and mumbled an answer. I looked at the clock and realized I needed to head out soon. I quickly ate my breakfast, kissed my mom goodbye and headed out the door. I drove to the school, surprised that it was a bit out of the actual town and groaned at all the traffic, stupid first day of school traffic. I was lucky to find a good spot and mentally thanked my parents for buying me a parking pass for the year. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was going to a year to remember, but I had to make it thus. I then grabbed my backpack and headed into the cafeteria where there was lines to pick up your schedule. I quickly charmed the lady at the front of the line to get my faster. I internally thanked my Mom for taking me around ladies to work on my skills, not that I'd ever used them on a girl my own age. She also gave me my locker assignment and I headed up the stairs looking for the band room knowing my locker was near there. I remembered vaguely where it was due to the tour I was given last week and headed in that direction. On my way I passed a huge guy with blonde curly hair loudly joking with his friends. Bet he's a football player. I kept walking and was eventually able to find my locker. I quickly spun the dial and opened it. As I was putting my bag in my locker I was knocked into by someone. I quickly turned to see who it was and came face to face with the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She had long wavy brown hair that was pinned off her face with side swept bangs. When she looked up to apologize to me I saw her eyes and fell into to them for what felt like forever. They were deep chocolate brown and expressive. They alone told me she was sorry. She immediately blushed and said "I'm so sorry. I'm so clumsy. I keep hoping it will get better with age, but no luck. I hope you're okay. You look new? I'm Bella. What's your name?"

I stood in shock for a minute trying to get over her beauty enough to speak. I cleared my throat and replied "Yeah, first day here. I'm Edward. It's nice to meet someone." I gave her a small smile. To my joy she smiled back at me.

"It's nice to meet you. Oh, looks like we are going to be locker neighbors." She told me as she walked around to the locker to my right and started opening it to put her bag away. Just as I opened my mouth to say something in return someone yelled "Bella, you're finally here!" A blur of black, pink, and blue flew past me at Bella. I glanced at her worried that she was hurt but she was laughing and hugging a small dark haired girl.

"Hey to you too Alice." She smiled and then looked up to see the big guy Id seen earlier who was also yelling at her.

"Bells, I missed you." As he scooped up both girls into a bear hug. I noticed that Bella had an amazing figure; I hoped she wasn't dating this boy. "Em, I just saw all you guys yesterday." You guys turned out to be the two present plus an obvious pair of twins. The girl was tall and statuesque, a real beauty but not my type. The guy was also tall and they shared bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes. The girl's was long and perfectly straight and the guy's was of medium length and slightly styled with gel. The tall girl immediately went up to who I now knew was Em, wonder what that was short for, and pulled him into a quick kiss. The boy seemed shyer and stood off to the side, slyly staring at the short, pixie girl.

Bella then turned and started talking to the short girl and I was forgotten in the background, but I noticed that they managed to do it without being rude. I shrugged, grabbed my binder and headed off to my Spanish class. I was thankful it was the first day of school that I started so I wouldn't have to introduce myself and be stared at by all the other students. I quickly found a seat in the back corner by the door and sat down and observed my fellow students. After a few minutes the bell rang and the teacher came in to the classroom. She was a slightly plump, dark haired woman with vibrant clothes. The faced the class and addressed us in Spanish, of course. Right after her introduction the pledge of allegiance was recited over the intercom and we all stood and followed suit. After we sat down our teacher, who was Senora Cruz, asked each of us to introduce ourselves. I noticed that when I stood and told the class my name every girl's eyes were riveted on me, I groaned softly to myself. I hated when girls did this. I wish I could were a sign letting them know I'm not interested. Class passed quickly and the bell rang. I steered clear of the girls that tried to talk to me and walked back to my locker. The rest of my morning was fairly quiet. I ate lunch with a couple guys from my gym class. I finally decided to ask the question that had been on my mind all day.

"Hey what's the deal with that girl, I think her name is Bella?" I asked the guy next to me, I think his name was Eric. He turned towards the table she was sitting at with her friends. He turned back to me and said "Dude, don't even think about it. She is basically untouchable."

"What do you mean? Is she not allowed to date or something?"

"Naw, that's not the problem. She has gone out with a couple of guys but no one can get her past the first date. Not really sure why, maybe none of the guys is good enough."

Another guy at the table, Tyler, joined the conversation. "Well considering who she is. None of us are good enough."

"What do you mean? What's so special about her?"

"Easy. The girl is smart, funny, a cheerleader, and friends with just about everybody in the school. There's just one mystery about her." Tyler explained.

Now this intrigued me. "What's the mystery?"

Eric said, "The girl hardly ever mentions her family. No one outside of the four sitting with her knows where she lives. We don't even know if she has siblings. Or any parents for that matter. No one comes and watches her games or anything. That's probably why nobody makes it past the first date. She always meets you there. No one is allowed to pick her up. And if someone tries to get any information about her Emmett, the big guy, will tell in you in no unclear form that you are not allowed near her or to talk to her. He's like her bodyguard even though he's dating Rosalie, the tall blonde."

"Who are the other people at the table?"

A girl named Jessica, who'd been eyeing me through all of lunch piped in, "Well the short, black haired girl is Alice. Rosalie's twin is Jasper. Everyone knows he likes Alice, but he's yet to let her know. And she won't do anything until then."

At that point the bell rang and I said goodbye to the guys went to my locker and grabbed my binder for my next class, AP Physics. The room was set up with desks on the right side of the classrooms and workstations on the left side. I took a desk near the door for easy escapes at the end of class. Right before the bell rang Bella rushed in and took the only available desk, next to me. I instantly perked up. I hoped this would be my chance to get to know the enigma that was Bella.

The teacher took attendance and announced that whoever we sat next to would be our lab partner for the semester. I turned to Bella and gave her a small smile. She smiled back at me and then faced the front of the classroom for the rest of the lesson. At the end of the class she said goodbye quietly and left the room. I sat there a bit confused, but got up and slowly made my way to my locker. I had a free period next and decided to go to the library to check out their selection. While browsing I noticed that Bella also seemed to have a free period. She was engrossed in a large volume. I moved closer, but unseen, to see what the book was. It was a collection of Jane Austen novels. She looked adorable with her legs curled underneath her and one hand twirling a shiny lock of hair. I watched her for a few minutes and then went to the other side of the library, away from her to clear my head. Once the bell rang I headed to my last class of the day, English. Once school was out I packed up all my homework and headed out to my Volvo. On my way out I passed Bella, Rosalie, and Alice all sitting around and talking. I wondered what they did after school as I exited the parking lot and drove home. I saw my mom was already home, she had parked in front of her side of the garage. I headed inside and could smell her cooking.

"Hey Mom, what smells so good?" I asked her as I entered the kitchen. She turned from the stove with a smile and told me she was making my dads favorite, duck stew. As I sat down at the bar to start my homework she asked me about my day. I briefly told her about my classes and a few of the people I met. Then I did something most teenage boys would never do. I asked my mom for advice.

"Hey Mom, how do I go about talking to a girl without actually talking to her? Does that make sense?"

She had the hugest smile when she turned around to face me. "Yes, Edward that does make sense. You're father wooed me with flowers and notes before we started dating because he was too shy to ask me straight out."

"Hmm, that's an idea. Where did he leave the notes for you?"

"Oh, he brought them in to where I worked in little envelopes."

"Did you know it was him?"

"Of course honey, he signed his initials, and CC isn't hard to remember or figure out. Does that help?"

"It does Mom, thanks."

"Do I get to find out who this lucky girl is?"

I groaned at her, "Not yet mom. I will let you know if I make enough progress to actually talk to her face to face, okay."

"That's fine honey. And remember I'm always here to help you if you need it." With that she turned around to finish up dinner. Later when my dad got home and we were sitting down for dinner he also asked about school. Then he asked me "So, is there anyone at school that caught your eye son?"

I looked down as I answered him. "Maybe, but I'm not ready to talk about her yet. I told Mom earlier, Ill tell you guys when things progress a bit."

My dad just nodded and smiled. After dinner I went upstairs to my room to think. One thing I knew for sure was that I was not going to sign my name or initials on the notes I leave her. It would be way too easy for her to figure out who it is. And I wanted to get to know her without her judging me by my looks or money. I wanted someone to get to know the real Edward Cullen. I considered leaving them in her locker, but that would be too hard to do without getting caught by her or someone else. Then I figured out where I could leave them. If she went to the library everyday during our free period then maybe I could leave them there. I knew what she was reading. Okay, now that I had a plan I just needed to figure out how to execute it without it seeming creepy or stalkerish. By the time I went to bed later that night I still hadn't come up with anything I liked.

The next three days passed without me hardly noticing. I was too focused on figuring out how to leave the notes for Bella. My weekend was filled with homework and it wasn't till Sunday night that I figured out what I wanted to say. It was right there all along. Why not ask her how she liked what she was reading, I had actually read that volume a couple of years ago and remembered it fairly well. So that night I sat down at my desk. Now, to type the letter or to handwrite the letter? I felt that typing the letter would be too impersonal, but I was worried if I handwrote the letter she would be able to realize it was mine. Then I realized that I normally printed my schoolwork, but I could write the note in calligraphy and she wouldn't be able to realize it was me. I got out my supplies from the class I had taken at my last school and found a thick piece of cream colored paper. I started the letter:

_Dear Bella, _

_I'm too shy to talk to you to your face. So this is my way of talking to you. I wonder how you are enjoying this book. I have actually read it before. Pride & Prejudice is my favorite one. What about you? Please leave your response, if you want, in this book. I will get it later. Hope to hear from you._

_Your Secret Admirer_

God I hoped that wasn't too cheesy. I left the page on my desk to dry so I could slip it into her book in the morning. The next morning I woke feeling a bit anxious about this. What if she just dismissed the letter as some weirdo and didn't respond. God, I hope she didn't do that. But then I would just have to find a different way to get to know her. There was something about her that I felt drawn to. I showered and got dressed for school and headed downstairs. My mother had left early for a meeting with a client and my father was working the early shift at work so there was no food made for me. I quickly ate a bowl of cereal and headed out to school, leaving a bit earlier than normal. As soon as I parked I headed inside to the library. Luckily no one was there. I went to the shelf and grabbed the book that Bella had been reading. I found her bookmark and left the note folded in half with it. I then replaced the book on the shelf and headed to my locker. The rest of my morning seemed to drag on forever in my excitement. Lunch was a blur of ignoring the idiotic banter between the boys around me and avoiding Jessica, who was still lusting over me apparently. I quickly rush to AP Physics ready to spend some time with Bella, today was going to be our first lab of the semester. When the teacher finished passing out the lab sheets and dismissed us to our lab desks I turned to Bella and said "Hey partner, you ready to start this?"

She gave me a small smile and nodded. We stood and headed over to our lab station and started reading over the directions together. It was a lab about gravity. We were to be measuring the force that things fall at. We quickly started the lab and about halfway through she passed me a calculator to process some information when it happened. When her hand touched mine we were both shocked. It was different from a static electricity shock, more of a pleasant, heated feeling. We both glanced at each other and pulled our hands apart. She started blushing and turned away mumbling "sorry." She shouldn't have been though. That was the best feeling of my life, I suddenly wanted to feel it again as many times as I could. I peeked at her out of the corner of my eye and saw she was blushing even harder than before. I wondered what she was so embarrassed about, but it looked amazing on her. The pink complemented her skin so well, I wondered if she knew. We finished the rest of the lab without talking or touching each other and were the first team done. We headed back to our desks to finish filling out our lab sheets. Luckily we finished so fast that we were able to turn them in by the end of class. As the bell rang Bella gave me a quick goodbye and headed out of class. Once again she left me sitting confused. Once everyone else had left the classroom I gathered my books and headed to my locker to put them away. I grabbed a notebook and pen and headed to the library. I sat near enough that I could see Bella's reaction when she saw my note but not enough for her to really notice me. I opened my notebook ready to make it appear as if I was working on something.

Only a minute after I sat down Bella walked over to the shelf and pulled the book down and went to her normal seat. I carefully watched as she opened the book to her marked page and saw the note. She seemed confused as she set the book down in her lap and held up the note. She quickly looked around and then unfolded the page. She read the note and then set it down. She chewed her lip as her face slightly flushed. What I wouldn't give to hear what was going on in her mind. As the period went on she stopped several times to reread the note. Finally towards the end of the period she pulled a notebook out her bag and scribbled a note and set it back in the book with her bookmark. She refolded my note to her and set it in a pocket in her backpack and then left the library. I had decided I should wait a few minutes so as to not be obvious. As the bell was ringing I walked over and pulled the book out. I opened it and took the page. I put the page in my notebook and the book back on its shelf. I walked to my locker and carefully put the notebook in my backpack so as not to ruin it. I gathered up my English class supplies and went to class, just barely making it before the tardy bell rang. I barely listened to the teacher during class, my mind on the single sheet of paper in my backpack. I rushed out of class when the final bell rang and hurried to my locker. I threw it open, shoved my binder and book in my bag, slammed my locker and practically ran to my car. I threw it in reverse and was able to be out before the traffic buildup and sped home. I noticed neither of my parents were home and was thankful. I wanted to be alone when I read this, whether I was disappointed or happy. I walked into my room and sat down on my bed, dropping my next to me on my bed. I pulled it open and gently pulled the notebook out of it. My hands shook while I extracted the page. I took a deep breath before opening it up to see what she had written.

_Dear Admirer,_

_I wish you weren't too shy to talk to me. I've never had a pen pal and English isn't exactly my best subject. But I can understand being shy so lets give this a shot. I am greatly enjoying this book. And yes, Pride & Prejudice is my favorite too. Though I have read it a few times. Nothing else has called to me yet. Any suggestions? They are very welcome. I love to read and am always looking for something new to enjoy._

_Until then, Bella_

_I read the note through_ five times before I jumped off my read and whooped in joy. I knew I had the biggest, stupidest smile on my face but I didn't even care. I was just so elated that she wrote back and it didn't say to leave her alone. I swiftly ran to the library in the downstairs and perused my books. I just had to find a book for her to read. I wanted to let her know me, what I liked. I hoped she would like whatever I picked. Two hours later my parents found my sitting on the floor with piles of books around me.

"Edward, what are you doing?" my mother asked with a confused voice.

"She wrote back Mom!"

"What do you mean Edward?" my dad asked.

"Well last week I asked Mom how to talk to a girl without actually talking to her. She told me how you gave her notes at work because you were too shy to just talk to her. Well there's a girl at school, and no I won't give you guys names, that I wanted to talk to. But she's practically untouchable. So I left her a note in the book she is always reading in the library. And she wrote back! And she asked me for a suggestion for a new book to read. So I'm looking." I explained. I watched as my mom got a small smile on her face. She walked over and kissed my cheek and then left the room. My dad just looked happy that I was trying to interact with a girl, my first time ever.

"Well I hope you find her something good son. Your mother brought home some dinner for you. It's in the kitchen." With that he left the library to go change out of his work clothes. I ended up sitting there for another hour before I had narrowed it down to three choices. Each one was different from the others and my favorites. I chose The Golden Compass, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and River Town. Each was good in its own way and I just couldn't pick which was the book to suggest. So decided to just give her the titles to all three and see what she picked. We would work from there. I walked up to my room with the three books to write my letter back to Bella.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm sorry but this is the best I can do with my shyness. Well I do have a couple of suggestions for you. Well three to be exact. First off we have __The Golden Compass, __a classic story about growing up and figuring out your place in the world. Add alternate realities, animals, and the age old story of Adam and Eve and you have the book. It's actually the first of a trilogy. A very good one I might add. Then we have A __Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, __this is a story about a guy in his twenties and the things that happen in his life. It seems to have no point at all, but is sweet and funny in its own way. And lastly we have __River Town__. This is the story of a guy in the Peace Corps that goes to backwoods, big city China to teach English literature. This is his story of the things he experiences and learns in his time there. Each book is good in its own way. Hopefully this helps. _

_Waiting, Your Secret Admirer_

I then went to bed smiling and thinking of Bella's smile and blush as she read my note today in the library. I woke early again and got ready for school with a smile on my face. I was eager to see which book Bella would chose. I kissed my mom and grabbed a piece of toast on my way out. I once again headed to the library as soon as I got to school. I carefully looked around and then slipped my note in her book and went to class. While listening to presentations in Spanish I tried to figure out how to get Bella to talk to me beyond what was necessary in class. I knew that family topics were off limits from what the guys had told me on the first day of school. Damn, she made this hard on a guy. I could see why people were so interested in her, she was a total mystery. One big question mark that just begged for me to ask. But I knew that she needed to be handled carefully, just look at her. She was so delicate with her small frame and soft smile. She was so beautiful in a refreshing way. She wore hardly any makeup, but she didn't need to. She never really styled her hair; just let it hang in soft, touch me waves. And her clothes while obviously expensive were in simple and classis styles and colors. She was so quiet unless with the other four. It made me wonder what made her act like that. When she was with them she was much more open and expressive with her hands and body language. But her eyes were always expressive. Most of the time they seemed guard or thoughtful. Like she was worried or was never really there in class. She never seemed to pay attention to where she was going in the halls but people always paid attention to her and let her through without getting in her way, with the exception of a few guys. Namely Mike Newton, that guy just couldn't get a clue. He actually thought she was into him, but was playing hard to get. No matter how many times Tyler, his best friend, told him that the girl just wasn't interested. Just watching the way he embarrassed himself in front of her made my blood boil. I didn't understand why this guy could just get a clue. I wished I could teach him a lesson or two, but I had no reason. Bella wasn't mine to protect. Besides, that Emmett guy seemed to do a pretty good job of brushing Newton off for her_. _All of a sudden I came out of reverie to Eric punching my shoulder, "Hey man, lunch is over. Let's go."

I thanked him and headed to my locker. I went to class and sat down still wondering how to get Bella to open up to me. She sat down right before class started and pulled out her binder. Today was a slow day of our teacher answering any leftover questions about the lab we did yesterday. Since both Bella and I finished it we didn't pay much attention. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her doodling on a page in her binder. I spent my class drawing a picture of the side of her face when she was reading in the library. I was careful not to let her see it, I figured it would be too obvious who it was in the picture. I finished the drawing before class ended and just carefully put it in my notebook that I would be bringing with me to the library. As class ended I waited till Bella left the room to even bother getting out of my chair. I wanted to get to the library after her so she would notice me as much. I arrived shortly before the tardy bell rang and went immediately to my seat near hers so I could see her reading again. I noticed she was slightly blushing as she opened the book in her lap. I watched her face crack a small smile as she pulled my page out and read it. I watched as she cocked her head to the side in thought and laughed a bit at what she read. I wish I knew what she was laughing at. I tried to remember exactly what I had written but could only remember the books I suggested. About halfway through the class she pulled out her notebook and wrote a note. Guessing by the length of time it took her to write it the note would be much longer than any of our previous ones. I was dying inside to get home and read it already. Right before the bell rang she put the note in the Jane Austen volume and the then left the library. As soon as the bell rang I rushed to get the note, I place it in my notebook with my drawing of her and then left the library to get my books for English. Class was busy, the teacher had given us a worksheet on the book we were reading and I didn't have even a spare moment to think about the note from Bella. As soon as class was over I turned in my worksheet and grabbed my backpack from my locker and headed out of the school. I was almost at the doors when Jessica cornered me and started batting her eyes ridiculously at me while she spoke.

"Hey Edward, I was wondering if you could give me a ride home. Lauren normally drives me but she left school early today and I gotta get home. Please?" she said with a sickeningly sweet smile. Ugh this girl was gross.

"Um, why don't you ride the bus Jessica? They're still here." I told her as I gestured towards the buses right out the door.

"Silly Edward, I don't know which bus to ride. I've never ridden the bus." I groaned in my head as I made a mental list of all the things I knew she had ridden. Like half the guys in our class. I knew the easiest way out of this would be to lie but I was horrible at it and knew she'd see right through me.

"Fine, I'll give you a ride home. Only this time though."

"Great!" she exclaimed as she tried to grab my arm. I quickly shook her claw like fingers off of me and started walking to my car leaving her to follow me. I unlocked the doors with my key fob and opened my door. I knew I should be a gentleman and open her door for her, but I did not want her to get any ideas in her head that I liked her in any way shape or form. She got in and started pouting.

"Why didn't you open your door for me, Edward?" She said in that annoying voice of hers.

"Why would I Jessica? I'm giving you a ride home because I feel bad for you. No other reason." I brusquely told her as I started my car and reversed out of my parking spot. I tried to speed as much as I could but she made it so I was stuck in all the traffic in the parking lot. She spent the entire ride blabbering about nothing I actually cared about. I think she was talking about some party her and Lauren went to over the weekend. I didn't know why she thought any of what she had to say mattered to me. Then it happened.

"Edward, did you want to come to the party with me this weekend?" she turned and faced me to wait for my answer. Now this I knew I had to get rid of.

"Um I can't. I'm gonna be busy this weekend. I have to give piano lessons all weekend and work on a project for Spanish."

"Oh, well maybe next time." She pouted as she turned to face the front of the car. She kept talking as she gave me directions to her house.

"Well, thanks Edward." She said as I parked in her driveway. I nodded my head curtly at her. "How can I repay you for this? Maybe a kiss?" she started to lean in towards me.

"No that's fine Jessica. Bye." I quickly turned my head and looked out my window and waited for her to get out. I peeled out of her driveway when she did and sped home with the windows open, trying to air out the terribly strong perfume she bathed in. I got home to an empty house. There was a note on the fridge saying my parents wouldn't be home till later tonight and there was money for me to order food for dinner. I looked at the money they left me and laughed. They always left too much. With the amount they left I could go out to a steakhouse and order dinner for two. I shook my head as I headed up to my room to finally read Bella's letter. I sat on my couch black, leather couch and pulled it out of my notebook and opened it.

_Dear Secret,_

_Oh, I loved the books you picked for me. Now don't be offended but I've actually read two of the three. I read The Golden Compass and the rest of the trilogy back in middle school. I actually had to reread it last year to understand the under story of Adam and Eve. Those are definitely a few of my favorite books too. I love the way its set in so many different places without a specific time that it makes the book practically timeless. The third book in the series actually made me cry, I'm such a sucker for that in books or movies. Rosalie thinks it hilarious, but then I think the only thing I've seen that girl cry over was when Emmett accidentally caught a pair of her shoes on fire one night. Talk about hilarious._

_Speaking of funny things I laughed at your second choice, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I have tried to read that book at least 20 times. Every time I try I only get about halfway through and then I forget about it or get distracted enough that by the time I get back to it, I have to start all over again. It's been driving me crazy. I keep telling myself that one day I will actually read the whole damn thing. But alas, that has yet to happen. And I've had this book for about 3 years. It was a gift from Jasper; he said he really enjoyed it. Well now I can be sure he has great taste in books, I now have someone to back him up. Though I couldn't ever tell him. Because I don't even know how you are, hint hint. Ha-ha, don't worry. I understand you aren't ready to tell me. I sure hope you are soon. _

_Anyways, on to your third and final suggestion, River Town. I have never heard of that one. Though it does sound interesting from your short description._

_ I love to read about things that are unfamiliar to me. Its fun to sort of escape to somewhere different for a few hours. I think I will go get that book after school. No, I don't think, I know I will. How bout I give you a suggestion to read? Don't laugh but one of my favorite books ever is East. Let me know what you think. The library has it, I'll look for your next note there. Ha, I may a secondary participant in this "relationship" we have started but let me have the control just a minute. Maybe we can go through every good book in the library. Its like a game. Oh wow, I didn't even realize I'd written so much and didn't get to read at all. Oh well, this was much more fun. I've got to go though, class is almost over._

_Hoping to read your words somewhere new, Bella_

I surprised at how much she had written. I was considering my reply when my stomach made its empty presence known. I decided that since I didn't really know what there was to eat in this town that I would go out and find something. I went downstairs and grabbed the money off the counter and went out to my Volvo. I drove out of our neighborhood into the main part of town. Nothing was exactly what I wanted till I saw a little sushi place in a strip mall. It wasn't too busy so I pulled into the parking lot. I entered the restaurant and went straight to the bar. To my surprise I saw Bella sitting at a table all alone. I gathered my courage for a minute and walked over to her table.

"Hey Bella, its Edward from..," She looked up and interrupted me.

"Oh Edward. Yeah I know where I know you from." She laughed softly at herself.

"Are you eating alone?" She nodded a little glumly. "Well so am I. My parents left me to fend for myself. Mind if I join you?" She smiled at me and gestured towards the empty seat across from her. I grinned back and sat down and opened my menu. I looked over it at her and asked, "So have you ordered yet?"

"No, I couldn't decide what I wanted. Both the teriyaki chicken and rainbow roll sound good. But no way could I eat both of those."

"Well, the mango chicken and the rainbow roll both sound good to me. And no way could eat both of those," she smiled at my words. "So why don't we share the rainbow roll?" I suggested to her. She nodded at me and set down her menu. As soon as she did out waitress came over and took our orders. After she left there was a moment of silence before I asked her, "So why are you here alone? Aren't you usually with your group?"

She frowned slightly at my words but responded, "Well we were all supposed to meet up here for dinner and once I got here I got a text from Emmett saying him and Rosalie were having some issues they needed to work out, which is their way of saying they are too busy doing the deed to come out. Jasper has some big history project that he needs to finish before tomorrow and Alice is shopping with her mom. But they all waited till the last second to tell me and since I was already here I decided to just eat and then head home." She looked down and whispered the next part, "Home is a long drive and it's a little lonely there tonight." I watched as her cheeks filled with red. I sat watching her cheeks as I pondered what to say next.

"Well normally I would ask why home is lonely and offer my condolences, but I've been fully warned not to. So I won't. But I'm here if you want to tell me. I'd listen. Everyone deserves someone to listen." There, I showed her I was interested but didn't make her feel like she needed to defend herself, or leave. I was so afraid she would. She seemed more dream than real. She looked up and studied my face for a moment, almost as if she was searching for something. Then she spoke to me.

"Thanks for saying that. I'm not sure anyone would want to listen to my problems if they knew the whole story. It would seem like I'm bitching when I have no place to. But it would be nice to talk to someone outside the group. Sometimes it feels like they've heard my story so much they don't really care. Like their own lives are more important." She continued to look directly into my eyes. "Let's just say I have a small family. Just me and my dad. And it's a bit sad the way we ended up just being the two of us. That's why I don't talk about it much and why Emmett will kick anyone's ass who tries to pry when I don't want them to. But every month on this day my dad leaves the house for the night. Usually the gang meets up with me for dinner so I don't feel so lonely. But the last couple of times they've bailed on me for various reasons." She looked down as she said this.

"Well, I hope I'm not overstepping, but how about we meet up on this day every month. I don't really have any friends here yet and haven't got much else to do." I was hopeful as I said knowing shed most likely decline since we hardly knew each other.

"That would be nice." She shyly said with a small smile. "There's something about you, I feel so comfortable."

I shrugged, 'Maybe it's because I don't know anything and cant and wouldn't judge you." She nodded and murmured her agreement. Our food arrived right after and we enjoyed the rest of our meal talking about sushi and the different things we've tried. When the waitress took our plates and brought out the bill I grabbed it right away.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I can pay for my own food. You don't need to."

"No, I insist. My parents gave me enough food to pay for everyone eating here's food so my treat." I quickly slipped the money in the folder and handed it back to the waitress. Bella frowned slightly but then smiled.

"Fine, but I'm taking you out for ice cream." She looked so happy that I just nodded at her. If it made her that happy I would let her. Wait, did she just extend our time together. Maybe she was enjoying herself as much as I was. As we got up I asked her where we were going.

"Okay, best ice cream in town is at Garcia's. I know that sounds weird but their fried ice cream is to die for. Do you know where it is?" I shook my head letting her know I didn't. "That's fine just follow me. I drive that Nissan Rogue. She point at the car right next to mine. I laughed and said "Well this is my car." She looked at it and laughed too. We both got in our cars and I waited till she pulled out to reverse out of my parking spot and followed her the short distance to the only Mexican place in town. We once again parked next to each other and headed in. She smiled at the hostess, a girl in our school a year younger than us and asked her for a table for two. She took us to a booth, handed us menus and let us know our waitress would be over soon. We didn't bother looking since we both knew what we were going to order. I cringed when Jessica walked over in a uniform with a notepad in her hand, she was our waitress. She smiled and looked directly at me and said, "Fancy seeing you here Edward. And with Bella." She glared at Bella as she said her name. Bella frowned back. She then turned back to me, "What can I get for you tonight?" I didn't miss the double entrende of her words. I tried to hide the shudder of disgust that rolled through my body.

"I'll just have a fried ice cream with chocolate sauce." I then looked at Bella. She ordered the same as me. Jessica winked at me before she walked away trying to shake her nonexistent ass. Bella was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Please tell me you don't like her or anything."

"Are you kidding? That girl grosses me out. For some reason she thinks she's attractive. I wonder who gave her that impression. I had to give her a ride home after school today and the whole time all I wanted to do was open her door and shove her out." Bella giggled at my words.

"Yeah she is gross. She's hooked up with so many guys its disgusting. She tried to go after Emmett about six months after him and Rose started dating. Rosalie told her in exact words why she would never touch Emmett and then went on to describe a few of Jessica's 'sex-capades'. She started crying and left school early. It was funny in a sad kind of way." I laughed with her at those words. "I'm sorry you had to give her a ride home. I don't think I'd be able to stand her for that long. She drives me crazy."

"She drives me crazy too. Good think there wasn't any cops around cause I don't think I've ever driven faster than that." Bella giggled as Jessica walked up and served us our ice cream.

She started fluttering her eyelashes at me and asked "Are you sure there isn't anything else I can get you Edward?"

"No, we're fine." I said ennucaiting the "we" so she understood. Then just because I had to, "Um, do you have something in you're eye? It's seems to be blinking really fast." She stammered obviously embarrassed and then quickly walked away. I looked at Bella and we both burst into laughter.

"That..was…classic!" She laughed out. It took us a few minutes to calm down enough to eat our ice cream.

"Oh man Bella, you weren't kidding. This is the best fried ice cream I've ever had." She just nodded at me. We ate our ice cream in relative silence. Every once in a while we would point at someone in the restaurant and snicker to each other. When we were done Jessica brought over a bill and set right in front of Bella. She picked it up and looked at Jessica with a confused face.

"Um, I know you're not the brightest kid out there, but we obviously ordered two ice creams." She told her acidly.

Jessica just smiled and said "Well Edwards was free. I mean he did drive me home, but he wouldn't let me kiss so I had to repay him somehow." She said with an innocent look on her face. I reached over grabbed the bill and put exactly enough money for the ice cream and shoved it in Jessica's hands.

"Thanks that's all we need." I told her shortly. She frowned but turned away and left. I turned to Bella and said "I'm so sorry she acted like that. If I'd known I would have never driven her home. Apparently that was a bad idea."

Bella reached over and grabbed my hand and squeezed it quickly. She pulled it away at a moment, leaving my hand burning with the heat that I felt whenever we touched. "Don't worry. You were just being a nice person. You can never predict how she will take something. But next time we eat its on me. No arguments." She smiled and stood. I followed suit in total shock that she had willingly touched me. Even held my hand for a moment. I'm sure I had the stupidest smile on my face, but I just couldn't help it. I followed her out of the restaurant. She turned to me and smiled, "Thanks for joining me tonight. I had a really good time. I cant wait till next time. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Bye."

"Yeah I had a good time to. Have a good night." We parted ways and got into our cars. This time I pulled out before her and headed home on autopilot. My mind kept replaying the moment she touched my hand. I could still feel the burn of it, I never wanted that feeling to go away. It made me wonder what things would be like tomorrow.

**AUTHORS NOTE: I hope you guys like it. This is my first fanfic ever. Next chapter should be Bella's point of view. Please review so I know what to change. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**EPOV**

I pulled into my driveway and saw that my parents had returned home. I went into the living room to see them watching the news together.

"Hey Mom and Dad. How was your night out?"

"It was great honey, thanks for asking. So where did you get yourself off to? You never go out on school nights." My mom asked curiously. I made a quick decision to tell them who I was with, but not the she was the girl I was leaving notes to. I kind of liked keeping her to myself.

"Oh, my lab partner Bella and I ended up seeing each other at the sushi place and ate dinner together. No big deal. I felt bad that she was eating alone. She's pretty nice." I saw my dad smile like he knew there was more to it than that but luckily he didn't mention it. My mom would never let it go, I loved her and all but this was for me only. "I'm going to go upstairs and finish up a Spanish assignment and then go to bed. See you guys in the morning." I kissed my mom and headed up to my room. I completed the assignment as fast as I could. I wanted to write back Bella tonight so I could leave the note in the new book for her. I sat down at my desk and pondered what to talk about now.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm glad I was able to suggest a book you've never read before. Good thing I came up with three suggestions, huh? Seems we have similar taste in books. I have read __East__ before. I really liked it. It's been awhile so I just may pull out my copy and reread it tonight. If you do get time to finish A __Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius__ I suggest you do. Jaspers right, it is a very good book. Even if it doesn't seem to have a concrete point, or plot. Kind of how Napoleon Dynamite was funny, but there was no purpose to it. That movie is definitely one of my feel good on a slow weekend movies. But it's not my favorite. I'm not even sure what my favorite movie is. I haven't seen too many movies. I have always been more of a music and books kind of person. What about you? What's your favorite movie?_

_I like your idea of switching our notes to different books in the library. This could be fun. I guess since you picked this book I get to pick the next one right? Well leave your note in __Congo__. That's one I am rereading just for fun right now. Have you ever heard of it? They made a movie of it back in the 90s, but it wasn't nearly as good as the book. But then movies made after books almost never are. _

_Enjoying __East__, Secret _

After I wrote my note I lay in bed going over my evening with Bella. Thinking about it that was the closest to a date I'd ever actually been on. But much more relaxed than what I would have thought it would have been. I really enjoyed being around Bella, she had such a beautiful smile. It was always so natural and it just seemed to light up her whole face. Even her eyes seemed to smile when her lips did. I fell asleep to Bella smiling at me over ice cream, hoping for a replay of tonight.

I woke slightly earlier than usual. Instead of putting my note in the Jane Austen book, I had to find East in the library. I looked at my copy and wrote down the author so I could find the book without using one of the library computers. I rushed out of my house with an apple for breakfast and sped to school taking a back route I found accidentally. I got to school with plenty of time. I slipped into the library and searched the shelves till I found the one the book should be on. It took a few minutes of scanning but finally I found an old worn copy of the book and placed my note in the front page. I could feel the excitement of a new aspect of this "relationship", as Bella had put it, in my stomach. I was then running a bit late and went straight to my Spanish class. My morning classes were busy and I didn't have too much time to think about Bella. But lunch was boring. I spent the majority of it dodging looks from Jessica. I could tell she was pissed about last night at the restaurant. I couldn't find it in myself to be sorry for how I acted, that girl just couldn't seem to get a clue. How many ways did I have to show her that I just wasn't interested in her? Pretty soon I would have to just say it, I didn't want to be rude but she may push me to that point. I was anxious to get to AP Physics to see Bella and actually talk with her again. I got to class with a few minutes to spare to calm my jittery nerves. Bella came in and sat down next to me. She turned to me and gave me a small smile and said "Hi," quietly before the teacher started speaking. I was internally whooping for joy that last night wasn't a fluke and that she actually acknowledged me today. Today the class was just us taking notes while the teacher lectured so we didn't get to talk at all. I kept track of her out of the corner of my eye and she was doodling more than she was taking notes. She seemed surprised when the bell rang and turned to me.

"Ugh, I hardly paid any attention to that lecture. My mind was miles away. Do you think I could borrow your notes tonight to copy them?" She gave me a pleading look. I couldn't deny her if I wanted to.

"Of course, I know how that is." I smiled as I passed her my notes. "I hope you can read them, sometimes my handwriting gets a bit sloppy."

"Well, write your number on the top and I'll call you if I have any questions." I grinned and quickly wrote my number on top of my sheet of notes. "Thanks so much. Bye Edward." She said as she rushed out the door.

I looked at the clock and realized I only had two minutes to get to the library. Good thing I brought my Bella notebook, as I called it in my head, with me to class so I went straight there. I sat in a seat near where East was on the book shelves. I could barely see Bella through the stacks as she fingered the books till she came to our chosen book. She pulled it out and opened it up, as soon as she did a huge smile lit up her whole face. I was amazed at how happy that made her that I could make her that happy just by writing back. I watched her face as her eyes moved quickly along the page. As soon as she finished it, I assumed at least, she pulled out a notebook and wrote a note. It seemed this one would be as long as the others. Once while she was writing she lifted her head thoughtfully and chewed on her pen. She started to look in my direction and I quickly looked down at my notebook. I started a new picture of Bella. One of her thinking like that with the pen in her mouth; she looked so adorable I wanted that moment on paper to remember forever. I spent the rest of the period trying to finish the picture while the image was still fresh in my mind, I couldn't let myself forget. I didn't even notice Bella getting up till the bell rang. I sneakily made my way over to where Congo would be and saw no one was around. I pulled the note out of the back page and replaced the book on the shelf. I stuck it in my Bella notebook and walked to my locker all the while thinking about her note to me. English was another busy class, this time we worked in partners on a poem. After class I practically sprinted to my locker to pull my bag out and hurried out the door. I kept a watch for Jessica hoping to avoid her and made it to my car without incident. I once again saw Bella, Rosalie, and Alice sitting together outside. Now that we were friends, maybe I could ask her about that. This time when I got home my mom was there in her office working. She was busy so I just said a quick hello to her before going up to my room to read Bella's note. It was starting to seem like I had a routine.

_Dear Secret,_

_So I started __River Town__ last night. Great choice! I really like it so far. It's so interested to read about how different Chinese culture and life is from ours. I think it would be pretty cool to go there, not for as long as he did. Just to see some of their great historical sites. Wow, I have never told anyone that I wanted to do that. You're the first._

_Napoleon Dynamite was hilarious! It really doesn't have a purpose, so much so that it's almost a waste of time, but it's always good for a laugh. I used to be able to say all the words with the movie, it used to make Emmett want to kill me. My favorite movie is hard to pick but I think it would have to be 10 Things I Hate About You. I love that it's a modern version of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. I think its so sweet how much Cameron goes through to date Bianca in the movie. If you haven't seen it I would recommend that you do. It's kind of a chick flick but a good one. _

_Don't worry about not seeing many movies, if Alice and Emmett didn't force me to watch movies with them all the time I'd be in the same boat as you. Moves aren't my thing like music and books are. _

_We've never really talked about music. What kind of music do you like? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first. Ha, I love that quote. I have always wanted to say it, but man is that hard to put into normal conversation. Especially with people who know basically everything about you. Cough, cough the gang. Well once again I've basically written a novel. So I am going to put this in __Congo__ for you. How bout next note goes into __Gathering Blue__, I think it's a beautiful book that shows such hope. _

_Thinking of China, Bella_

I read Bella's note twice through before setting it aside to work on my homework. I was happy that I only had a light load of things to do. I wanted to find good music to give to Bella. I was finishing up my poem for English, my last assignment when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I wondered who could be calling me, hardly anyone had this number. I didn't recognize the caller id but answered anyways.

"Hello?" I cautiously answered.

"Hi, is Edward available? This is Bella Swan from his school." I smiled at her voice.

"Hey Bella, it's me." I was quick to tell her. And here I thought my night couldn't get any better, and it just did.

"Oh okay, I feel dumb. Anyways, I was just going over your notes."

"Are you able to read them? Sometimes my words get all jumbled when I'm writing too fast. I'm sorry." She laughed at these words.

"No, they are actually very easy to read. I had no problems at all." I breathed a sigh of relief. Wait, if she had already finished them what was she calling for? "I was just bored, finished all my homework and the rest of the gang is busy. So I just wanted to thank you again for letting me borrow your notes. They were a total lifesaver. This class moves so fast, I'm afraid to let myself slip for even one day." She admitted to me.

"I know it's much harder than it would have been at my old school. But I really enjoy it."

"Yeah I really like the class too. Though the science class I absolutely cannot wait to take is Human Anatomy. Physics isn't really my thing. I'm just taking it because I needed a science class and Marine Biology bores me. So this was pretty much my only option."

"Same here. Though I'm not as excited about Human Anatomy as you are. Dead bodies are not my thing. And they go do a lab with a cadaver. And the class does multiple labs on dead pigs. I can honestly say that both of those freak me out."

She laughed, "I can see someone's been doing their research on the class. I think you are secretly excited and that's why you know all this stuff," she teased.

"Hey now! I had to know ahead of time. Give myself as much time as possible to prepare to act manly in front of all the girls." She laughed again. Then she sighed.

"I'm sorry, I'm probably interrupting you. I'll let you go. Have a good night Edward; I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Goodnight Bella. See you tomorrow." With that I reluctantly hung up the phone. I was pleasantly surprised that she even called me. I wonder why her friends were starting to push her away. Part of me was ecstatic that they were. That gave me a way in. Though the other part of me felt bad that they would do that to her. Now that we were friends I never wanted to be anything less. For the first time I found myself wanting more than just a friendship with a girl. I broke out of my reverie and pulled out another page to write a note back to Bella for tomorrow.

_Dear Bella, _

_I'm glad you are enjoying my suggestion. That book is one of my favorites. My parents tease me every time I read it. They are sure I should have it memorized. But I feel that a good book will show you something new each and every time. I mean your mindset is different and you are different and so you pull something new from a book each time you open it up._

_I'm with you on wanting to go to China, among other places. I want to travel everywhere one day. There is so much out there that isn't confined to Alaska. So much history, art, and experiences waiting for me._

_I've never seen that movie, I think this weekend I will have to go rent it and watch it. I have never read Shakespeare's taming of the shrew. I admit I will probably go look that up as soon as I finish writing this to you._

_Favorite music? That's so hard to pick, it's like asking what your favorite sunset was. They are all so great. I guess it depends on my mood. Lately I've been feeling some 90s dream pop and fold rock. So artists like Azure Ray, Mazzy Star, Jeff Buckley and Eliot Smith have been featured heavily on my play lists and my head lately. They just seem to fit end of summer and fall. I'm a lyrics person too; to me a great song has amazing lyrics that hit you. _

_Okay, I feel like I sound like a girl. Just to clarify, I'm a guy. Who has spent way too much time with his mother getting to know his inner sensitive guy. Girls would eat me up if I found any of them interesting. _

_Well, I have now written a novel to match yours. I will leave this in Gathering Blue for you, which I have read. I felt the need to once I discovered The Giver, they are two of a loose trilogy. I hope to see your next note in, don't laugh, Leaves of Grass. I guess I'm just feeling some poetry today._

_Hoping my manliness will kick back in soon, Secret_

I hopped onto my laptop after I finished writing and looked up Taming of the Shrew and the movie she suggested. It did look good and I decided to find it tomorrow after school to watch this weekend. I went to bed right after that. My dreams were a medley of Bella, libraries and sunsets. It was so calming and blissful that the jarring of my alarm clock waking me from my dream made me want to throw it across the room. I turned the alarm off and shuffled to my bathroom to get ready for another day at school. It was only Wednesday, but I wanted it to be the weekend already.

School was slow and sluggish with my brain not quite awake. I had gotten to school with just enough time to put my note away for Bella. At lunch I noticed she wasn't there and I hoped maybe she was just busy. But she wasn't in class and when I thought about it I hadn't seen her all day at our lockers. I was pretty sure she didn't come in today. My day starting looking even drearier than before, since when had this girl become the only reason I came to school or enjoyed it. I had always loved coming to school just to learn but now that wasn't enough.

Bella wasn't in the rest of the week and by Friday night I was a bit worried. Three days out is a lot for anyone. I hoped she was okay and wanted to find out. I was trying to come up with something when I noticed my phone laying on my nightstand charging for the night. Of course, she had called me on it that meant I still had her number. I practically lunged across my room towards it. I scrolled through the menu to my received calls; I found her number and stared at the screen for a moment. I wondered if this would be too forward. No, I was just being concerned, I told myself as I hit the send key. I waited as the phone rang; it seemed to ring for an unusually long time. Finally I heard her voice at the other end of the line.

"Hello?" her voice sounded so scratchy.

"Hi this is Edward, is Bella available?" I asked, my polite instincts taking over even though I knew it was her.

"This is she. Whets up Edward?"

"Oh, I was just calling to make sure you were okay. You missed that last few days at school." I hope that didn't sound too overbearing.

"That's sweet. I'm okay. Just came down with a bit of stomach flu. I should be better by the end of the weekend. I'm so tired of being sick I'm actually looking forward to going back to school." She lightly laughed before she started coughing.

"Oh, well I hope you feel better. I should let you go. I'm sure you need your rest. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks. Yeah I should probably get some sleep, though that's all I've done this weekend. Hope you have a good weekend. See you on Monday."

"Bye Bella," she hung up the phone after that. I once again stared at the screen of my phone. I saved her number in my phonebook so I would have it in case I needed to talk to her again. I felt better know that I knew she was okay. I looked at the clock and knew I needed to get to bed soon. I had an early piano lesson tomorrow and then another in the afternoon. My parents loved that I played piano and part of our deal when they bought my beautiful piano was that I give lessons to kids in my spare time. As my mother put it, I was sharing my gift with others. I didn't really mind so much. It was kind of fun to see kids try to conquer the piano.

The next day I met my new students and their parents. Both lessons were relatively short, more of a get to know you for me, the kid and their parent. That's usually how my first lesson went. And it was a good time for me to find out how far along the child was. Sunday was much of the same. I only had one class in the morning and I spent the afternoon finishing up my homework. M mother and I cooked dinner and talked about my plans for the piano lessons. Sunday night I went to bed happy knowing I would get to see Bella the next day and that we would continue our note "relationship".

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I want to thank everyone whos taken the time to read this. It really does mean alot to me, I was surprised that anyone even bothered as this is my first fanfic. **

**Oh, and I dont own Twilight or its characters. Sometimes in my dreams I do though, things are differnt there. **


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 **

**EPOV**

I don't think I'd ever been more excited for Monday morning in my life. I'll admit the only reason I was excited was that Bella would be back at school. I wanted to talk to her again. It was a slow morning for me since I didn't have to be at school early. I had time to actually sit down for a bowl of cereal for breakfast before I left for school. I yelled goodbye to my mom on my way out the door and drove to school. It looked like it was going to be a nice day outside, maybe I would sit outside and eat, Newton was starting to get on my last nerve and I just wanted to rub it in his face that Bella had chosen me to be her friend and that we went on an almost date. That would be the best I could hope for since I would never be able to actually ask her out. This morning Bella actually greeted me at her lockers before heading off to her first class. This felt like a very big step in the right direction. I was floating on air as I went to my classes. But I was in for a bit of a shock second period. I got to class to see a note on the door telling us we were meeting in the library. Hm, this was a change from the usual. I quickly walked down there not wanting to be late. I saw my class sitting in a large group near the center of the library, there seemed to be twice as many students as usual. I found a seat near the back and looked around trying to figure out what was going on, I noticed that I had taken a seat near Bella's friend Jasper. He looked over at me and grinned and leaned over towards me, "Hey man, its Edward right? I'm Jasper." I just nodded my head, surprised he knew my name.

"Yeah it's Edward. Do you know what's going on?" I asked him.

"Um, yeah. Our classes are doing joint projects together. I think we get to pick our topics. If its pairs you want to work with me?"

"That would be cool. What do you want to do?" Before he could respond my teacher called attention to the front of the group. He introduced Jaspers teacher and explained that our classes would be working together to present projects. This would be a major part of our grade for the semester and we would be working on it regularly till then. We could pick our own topics to work on but had stringent things we had to accomplish for our final presentation. There was an essay we each had to complete discussing different aspects of our topics; we had to come up with a slideshow with at least 25 slides that lasted roughly half an hour. We also were to make up our own newspaper regarding out topic. The teachers then allowed us to split up to discuss our projects and get started. Jasper and I walked over to a table away from the rest of the group to talk about what topic we wanted to do.

"I don't know about you but I kind of want to do the Civil War, it's one of my favorite things about American history. Is that cool with you?" He started immediately.

"Great, I love the Civil War too. Plus there is tons of information about it; it would be easy to make a newspaper about this."

"Okay, I hope you don't think its stupid or anything but I think it would be cool if for our presentation we dressed up like soldiers. One of us could be from the North and the other could be from the South. I think that's guaranteed extra credit." I laughed at his enthusiasm, but agreed that it was a good idea. Plus it would be pretty fun. I liked this Jasper guy already.

We headed over to the catalogue computers and researched books we could use for references for the rest of class. Right before the bell rang Jasper called me over, "I think we should probably work on this outside of class. Here's my cell so we can get together some time and work on this. He handed me a scrap of paper with his number scrawled on it. I reached over on the desk and grabbed piece of paper as well and wrote down my number for him.

"Are you sure you don't want to write it on my hand?" He laughed. "Fuck, I feel like a middle school girl giving her number to her crush." I laughed with him and shoved his shoulder. He laughed with me as we left the library together. We talked about our normal schedules and agreed to get together this Saturday since I only had one piano lesson to give. We parted way and I headed to my locker to get my books for my most hated class of all, Pre-Calc/Trig. Man that class was so boring. My teacher talked just like Bill Lumbergh from Office Space. Five minutes into class I almost always felt like just taking a nap because I was so bored. It took amazing amounts of effort to pay attention. I usually read ahead so I wouldn't have to worry if I missed something during my teachers droning. After what felt like a lifetime the class was finally out and I headed to my locker. I was surprised to see Bella waiting there for me.

"Hey, I know you don't come back to you locker before lunch so I wanted to ask you now if you wanted to eat lunch with me. It's such a nice day and I couldn't stand to spend it inside during lunch. And I'm pretty sure no one in my group wants to eat outside." She asked me hopefully.

"Sure, that's sounds great. Did you want to meet me at the doors by the gym?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Well I'll see then." She smiled at me and then headed off to her next class. I shoved my math book and binder in my backpack and headed down to the gym for basketball class. After class I quickly redressed and went to meet Bella. As I walked over I noticed she was standing there holding two brown bags.

"Hey, what's with the bags?" I asked as I pointed to them.

"Oh," she blushed. "Well I made lunches for us this morning with the intent to ask you to lunch."

"Thanks Bella." I told her brightly. "I'll be the gentleman and take these from you. Lead the way." I took the bags from her and she turned and started walking towards the football fields. I fell into step beside her as we walked in comfortable silence. She led me up to the middle of the stands and sat down. I sat down next to her and turned so I was facing her.

"Shall we?" she asked me as she started to open one of the bags. I opened mine to find a sandwich, a small bag of pretzels, an apple, a large homemade cookie and a juice. I smiled at her in thanks. We started eating our food.

"So Bella, what would you have done if I didn't want to meet up with you?"

"I didn't even consider that. I guess sit out here by myself and eat two lunches." She laughed at the thought.

"So how come none of your other friends would want to eat outside with you. It's so nice out." I asked her.

"Ugh, because they are lame basically. Rosalie would never want to potentially get her shoes dirty and Emmett goes wherever she goes. Alice and Jasper didn't get to have their ritual morning sex and are currently fixing that in the back of Jaspers truck down the road at Beach Lake. Yeah my friends suck sometimes." She rolled her eyes as she said the last comment. "What about you? How come you were able to eat with me? What about your friends?"

"What friends?" I said sarcastically. "I sit with Newton, who is the biggest idiot I've ever met. He spends most of his time talking about getting with you. Tyler spends half of his time telling Newton that it won't happen and the other half trying to feel up Lauren under the table. She pretends she doesn't want him to, but anyone can see she does. Jessica spends all of lunch batting her stupid fake eyelashes trying to get my attention. Angela and Ben aren't too bad, but they mostly just talk to each other. Oh and Eric argues with Newton about you as well. Its one annoying table, but I don't really know anyone else at this school so I'm kind of stuck." I couldn't believe how much I just complained to her. I mean crappy friends are better than no friends' right. Besides it was my own fault that I didn't talk to many people.

"God, I hate Mike Newton. That guy cannot get a clue. I have turned him down more times than I can count. He thinks I'm playing hard to get. Not even, he's just gross. Plus I know what he's done with Jessica Stanley and I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole."

"Uh, do I even want to know what went down with him and Jessica?" I was a little worried as I took a big bite out of my apple having already basically inhaled my sandwich. This girl could make one mean sandwich.

"Well for both of our sakes I won't go into too much detail. We had a party at Rose's house and Alice and Jasper caught Jessica on her hands and knees with Mike in the front and James in the back. We got pictures as blackmail. They are so disgusting." Bella shuddered and picked up her bag of pretzels and started to munch on them.

"Wow, I am so glad I don't like Jessica. Because that is disgusting. I never want to eat at that table again. Great, I guess I'll be sitting by myself tomorrow." I finished up my apple watching Bella, who had a thoughtful expression on her face. I wondered where her mind was this time. She put her empty pretzel bag in her brown bag and pulled out her cookie.

"Well, why don't you sit with us tomorrow? I do believe you owe me lunch now, mister." She said teasingly. My heart soared at the thought. I couldn't believe this girl was bringing me into her world, even if just a little bit.

I swallowed my last bite of apple and answered her "Yes I do. I will bring you something tomorrow. Mind you, I'll probably have to get my mom to make it. Cooking is not I skill I have. I can maybe boil water." She laughed at me. Then I looked down at my watch. "We should probably head in; lunch will be over in a few minutes." She nodded and we gathered up our trash and started walking down the stairs. We threw our bags in the trash can by the field and went into the school to our lockers. For the first time since the year started we actually walked to Physics together. Today was another lab, this time on colors within light. It was a fun one that had us both laughing. After class we went to our lockers together again. She put her books away except a notebook, said goodbye and immediately headed to the library. I felt bad that she didn't know we both had a free period now, but I was afraid she would read my note to her if we were together. So I waited till I only had one minute left in passing time to finally start walking to the library. I made it in the door just as the tardy bell was ringing. I once again found a seat near Bella, but not enough for her to notice me. I noticed she had already pulled out Gathering Blue and was unfolding my note. I watched her face light up as she read the note. I could see her mouth moving as she softly said the words to herself. She sighed and smiled softly when she reached the end of the letter. She then pulled out her notebook and started to write a note back to me. I stopped watching her then and started drawing another picture of her. This time it was of her laughing while we having lunch. I wished I could make her laugh more. She didn't do it nearly often enough. I had just finished the picture when the bell rang. I walked straight to where Leaves of Grass was as I had searched it out last week. I pulled out her note, noticing that it was much longer than the previous. I smiled and quickly put it in my notebook and rushed to my locker to get my English book. It was a slow class with us just reading some poetry the whole class. After class I headed to my locker to get my backpack. Bella and I talked for a few minutes about what she liked for lunch before we said out goodbyes and I left the school, eager to get home and read her note. Once again neither of my parents was home, my dad had a late shift at the local hospital and my mom was in a conference till later tonight. I was happy that this time she left dinner for me. I went to my room and pulled out her note and started to read.

_Dear Secret,_

_I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond. I was out sick last week after I wrote your letter and today is my first day back. You don't even know how happy I am to be back at school. I know it sounds weird. But being at home isn't always so easy for me. It's just me and my dad there and let's just say I have to take care of him unlike most kids do. I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining, I love my dad but sometimes it's just so hard. He is in a wheelchair so lots of things are really hard on him. I'm surprised that I told you that. Only Em, Rose, Alice and Jas know about that. But it actually feels good to tell someone else. Someone who won't treat me like a fragile china doll. This is what they all do. I know they mean well, but it mostly just bugs me. I wish people would treat me like I was normal. That's the whole reason why me and my dad didn't want a lot of people at school to know about our home life. It's not a bad one, just lacking in a lot of ways. I mean do you even know how hard it is to have friends when people aren't really supposed to know where I live. People think I have no dad. I do, and I love him very much. He has just kept to himself since we moved here so people can't see what…_

_Whoa, got a little carried away there. You don't need to hear my whole sob story. But I'm glad that I told you that much at least. It feels a lot better. Anyways, on to happier topics._

_Don't worry about being teased by your parents about reading the same book a bunch of times. I have books that I have had to buy again because I have read them so many times they were falling apart. Alice always laughs at me. _

_I totally agree with what you said about reading a book multiple times, that's exactly how I feel. Only I'm not sure I could have explained it so well._

_Oh, those are all good artists. Lately I have been feeling a little bit different music. Stuff that makes me think of midnight and someone looking at me like I'm the only person around. Like Kings of Leon, Globus, Brand New, Jeff Buckley, Silversun Pickups and of course Mazzy Star. I'm surprised to find someone who enjoys the same kind of music as me. Rose and Alice both listen to pop; which I can only take in infrequent doses. Emmett and Jasper both like rap, which I'm not a big fan of. _

_Okay, question. How come you don't find any girls here interesting?_

_Jeez, this note is even longer than my last one. Or yours. So I'd better go and head to class. Leave your next note in __Enders Game. _

_Surprised at myself, Bella._

I was surprised too at how much of herself Bella left on the page. She was really starting to trust me, and she didn't even know who I was. I love my parents for coming up with this idea. I was starting to worry a bit about what would happen when she learned that it was me who was writing the letters. I hope she wouldn't be too upset and would understand. I shoved that thought away not wanting to ruin my good mood with at. Besides I had plenty of time to figure out that part. I went to my desk and finished my light load of school work. Then I pulled out my calligraphy supplies to reply to her letter.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm glad to see you're back at school and feeling better. I hate being sick and pop vitamins like crazy to avoid it as much as possible. It didn't sound like you were complaining. More like you are a teenager with a lot of responsibility. It must be hard to be the one to take care of your parent, instead of your parent taking care of you. You know the only reason they treat you like that is because they care and don't want to stress you more than you already are. Well, I will treat you are normal. Though you aren't, and not because of you're home life. Because of who you are; you're smart, have great sense in books and music and you are beautiful. _

_If you ever need to someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I'm glad I was able to make you feel better by telling me a little bit._

_Good music choices. Kings of Leon is definitely one of my favorite artists. I have never really listened to much of the rest, excluding Mazzy Star. Though what songs I have heard by Brand New have all been really good. Maybe I will have to go download some more. Which ones are your favorites?_

_About the girls, there are a lot of reasons. A lot of them are idiots which is boring to me. They don't share my interests. And there are exactly two pretty girls in this school. And just one stunningly, beautiful girl; that's you. Well I have got to go. Getting kind of late. Next note in __Enders Shadow__, I love that series by the way. _

_Happily, Secret._

As soon as I finished writing my letter I downloaded the latest Brand New album Daisy and played it and fell asleep excited for tomorrow.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**i know its short, but I just wanted to get something out for you guys. Let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I dont own it. Would be nice, maybe they would listen to me then.**

**CHAPTER 4**

**EPOV**

The next few weeks at school went by fairly quickly. I had started eating lunch with Bella's friends and surprisingly had been accepted into the group. Jasper and I became pretty close with hanging out during lunch and working on our History project. He was a really chill guy, one of my favorite things about hanging out with him. He was pretty soft spoken, but knew exactly what to say in every conversation. Except when it came to Alice, he just couldn't seem to work up the nerve to ask her out. I wanted to help him, but dating wasn't exactly my forte either. I was able to solve the mystery of what Bella and Alice had seemed upset about during the beginning of school. There was a girl at school, Jennifer that really liked Jasper. Apparently Alice had come around a corner at school and had seen this girl all over Jasper. She thought that Jasper was into her. It had been weeks and she still wouldn't talk to him about it. Jasper had talked to me about it. The girl had cornered him and was trying to kiss him, but he wasn't into it. That's when Alice showed up. He had been avoiding Jennifer like the plague, it was hilarious to Emmett. I really liked Emmett too; we were both into basketball and had a lot of fun with it. Today we were actually going to go play a game with Jasper and a couple of the guys I used to sit with while the girls hung out at Jasper and Rosalie's house. I got out of bed and showered and threw on a pair of basketball shorts and a tee shirt. I grabbed an apple off the counter and headed out to my car. I drove over to Jaspers house. He had a basketball court in his driveway and we were playing there. I pulled up and Emmett, Mike, Tyler, and Eric were all outside warming up.

"Hey guys, where's Jasper?" I asked as I walked over to Emmett.

"He just went inside real quick to grab some water bottles for us." He replied as he threw me the ball. I threw the ball towards the basket and was pleased that it easily went in. Jasper came jogging out carrying enough water for all of us. We started the game. About half way through it, with my team winning, Bella came out of the house. She quickly stomped over to her Nissan wiping tears from her face before hopping inside of it. Jasper ran over to talk to her. We all stopped to see what was going on. While that was happening Alice came out of the house.

"Bella Swan, don't you even think of leaving. We are not done talking!" Alice yelled as she ran over to Bella's car. Bella looked up and saw her and sped out of the driveway in reverse. She pealed out of the road and left. We all stood staring as Alice screeched in frustration. "That's it! I'm leaving too." Alice ran to her yellow Bug and left almost as quickly as Bella did. Jasper turned to see all of us staring in shock at him.

"Mike, Tyler, Eric I think you guys need to leave." He said quietly. They all nodded their agreement and headed to Mike's Tahoe to leave. While they were leaving Emmett and I walked over to where Jasper was still standing.

"Dude, what the hell just happened?" Emmett asked Jasper. He blew out a frustrated breath and ran his fingers through his hair quickly, a gesture I knew and frequently did myself.

"I'm not really sure myself. Lets go see if Rose has any idea." With that he turned and strode into the house with Emmett and me following him. We found her sitting in her room looking frustrated and texting on her phone.

"Rose, what is going on? Why did Bella go with Alice right behind her yelling?" Jasper asked as we all entered the room. Emmett sat next to Rose on the bed while Jasper stood in front of the bed and I sat at her desk. Rose looked up and sighed at us.

"Well we were all just sitting here studying and talking when Bella went to grab a book out of backpack. A notebook and a bunch of papers fell out. Alice went to help but noticed the writing on a few and started reading them." She started telling us.

"What did they say?" Emmett interrupted her. She gave him a look and he smiled sheepishly at her.

"Well Bella got real embarrassed and tried to snatch the pages out of her hands. One of them ripped in the process. That's when Alice got really mad. She wanted to know who Bella was writing to. I guess there was personal stuff about Bella in it." Rosalie threw me a look, obviously not wanting to go into detail with me sitting there, I still hadn't been told much about Bella in person. "And some of it was about us. Bella tried to explain that it was a pen pal and tried to get Alice to drop it. But Alice just kept getting madder. She demanded to know who Bella's pen pal was and when she said she didn't know Alice really lost it. She was screaming that Bella was an idiot for trusting this person and that if she told them everything that they would judge her and hate her. She wouldn't stop, even when Bella started crying. That's when Bella grabbed her stuff and left. With Alice following her. I stayed in case either of them came back, which I'm guessing isn't going to happen." She looked up at Jasper with a questioning look on her face. "What happened when they went outside?"

"Shit, this is fucked up. Bella came out still crying. I tried talking to her but all she would say is that she obviously cant trust us anymore and to leave her alone for a bit. I tried to get her to explain more but then Alice came out. She left as soon as she saw Alice." Jasper sighed in frustration and scrubbed his hands across his face.

"Dude, I'm not gonna lie. That's kinda messed up for Alice to freak like that. I mean, why do we need to dictate who Bella talks to right?" Emmett asked while rubbing Rosalie's back. She just sat looking intently at me with a thoughtful expression.

"I think maybe Edward should try to talk to her." I was surprised when she said that and by the looks on Emmett and Jaspers faces they felt the same way as me.

"What? Why?" Emmett was quick to ask. Jasper just watched his sister. I stared at her in shock. I wasn't fully a part of the group. I didn't know what to do. Did she know it was me? I was freaking out as Rosalie slowly answered our questions.

"Because if you idiots haven't noticed but there is something different about her and Edwards friendship. I'm pretty sure if you realize it Edward, but I know she doesn't yet. But I think it may be best if you go and talk to her. She is down at the riverside right now. Water always calms her best." She continued to look at me intensely. Then I realized she knew that I cared for Bella and wanted to be more than her friend. And here I thought I was hiding it well, at least Bella hadn't noticed yet. I nodded at Rosalie and slowly left the room. It wasn't till I was almost to my car that I realized Jasper had followed me. I turned to him and waited for him to speak first.

"I'm not sure how much you know about Bella, but remember this for all of us. She has been through a lot, more than she deserves. Just be careful with her." With that he turned and headed towards his own truck, probably to go find Alice. As I got in my Volvo I realized that both the Hales had given me their blessing to go after Bella. Now if only she would notice me as more than just her locker buddy and friend. I quickly headed over to the parking area for the river and parked my car. I could see Bella's small form sitting on a picnic table staring at the river. I got out of the car and quietly walked towards her.

She threw a rock in the water before saying without looking at me, "Go away Jasper. I'm sure Alice needs you more than me. I'm fine." She said Alice's name a little harshly.

"Bella? It's me, Edward." She looked up at me when I said her name. She softly blushed and said, "I'm sorry. I thought you were Jazz. I didn't mean to be rude." I smiled at her.

"You're fine. You want to talk?" I asked as I sat down next to her on the table. She shook her head, "Not yet." She responded. We sat together in silence just watching the river rush past us. The minutes slowly passed by and I started to understand why she was here. The sound of the water rushing over the rocks was peaceful. The water itself made me feel small, like I shouldn't let my problems seem so big. The silence surrounding us was a change of pace, there was no one else here and no animals to be heard for once. I knew she would start talking when she was ready. I heard her softly sigh next to me.

"During the beginning of school I got a letter in a book I was reading in the library. It was from a secret admirer, we've been writing back in forth since then. I have told them a lot about myself. Stuff only Jazz, Ali, Em, and Rose know. And stuff that nobody else knows. They've told me about themselves too, except who they are. Alice found a few of the letters in my bag and flipped. The group worries about people hearing about me, there are things I keep to myself for a reason. I don't like to talk about most of it. She was worried that I was telling someone I didn't know my secrets and that they would use them to hurt me. But I don't believe they would do that. This person, who I've dubbed Secret, tells me personal stuff about themselves too. He doesn't ever judge me, he makes me look at the better parts about things. But Alice went a little overboard in her worrying. She really hurt my feelings. I don't know why she doesn't trust my judgment. It's frustrating. Sometimes I feel like a have to okay everything with the group. Which is stupid, they are hardly there for me as much anymore. With Emmett and Rosalie too completely wrapped up in each other to leave the bedroom most nights and Alice trying to get Jazz to ask her out there is no time for us to be a group anymore. I get so lonely. That's part of why I like Secret. He's all mine." She looked at me and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to unload so much on you. You don't want to listen to my problems." She turned back towards the water. I gazed at the side of her face and was saddened to see a tear slip down her cheek. I reached over and softly brushed it off her face. She looked at me almost a little surprised.

"Bella," I wondered if she could hear the way my voice caressed her name. "I'm glad you talked to me. Everyone should have someone right? They should trust that you can find someone to talk to. They all have someone else, but you're kinda the fifth wheel since I don't count yet. They should be happy that you are opening up to new people. I hope I can be there for you more often. You deserve it." She looked at me in awe and then quickly pulled me into a hug, surprising me. She rested her head on my chest whispering "Thank you" over and over as the tears fell. I just stroked her back and hair and let her get it all out. That's when I realized that I, Edward Anthony Cullen, loved Isabella Marie Swan. And that it didn't bother me one bit. Then she said something that made my heart soar.

"You count too."

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Oh man. I am so sorry this took me so long to post. I just could get it to go the way I wanted. Now I know what people mean when they say the characters lead the story. Mine are doing as they please and I had to redo my outline. Argh. Well here it is. Hope you enjoy. **

**Oh and I would like a beta so if anyone is interested please let me know. Thanks! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

EPOV

My happy mood at Bella's words lasted exactly as long as it took me to get home and up to my room. That's when I saw it. Bella's latest letter to Secret. The guilt started creeping up on me. Our secret friendship was causing problems with one of her best friends. Maybe I should say something. But what to say? I wished I could but there's no way Secret would know about what had happened so soon. I decided to wait a bit to write back to her. Then I could say I noticed the difference in the way they were acting or something along those lines.

Some times this was so hard. Things may have been easier if I and Bella hadn't become friends in person but probably not much. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what to do. Should I just tell her it was me? Should I keep our secret friendship going? It was so hard. I wanted to know everything about this girl and I knew it would take months in person whereas in our letters it only took her a few weeks to start trusting me. Was it wrong of me to want to keep our letters up for that very reason? I felt almost like a voyeur, looking into her mind and life when I should and she didn't really know who I was. But hell, she was the one inviting me in. I hardly slept that night arguing with myself. I spent the next day writing and rewriting letters to Bella. Half of the letters were telling her who I was and the other half acted as if nothing had happened. What was wrong with me? I was almost dreading going to school on Monday. How could I face her when I felt this guilty? Bella saw through people pretty easily, what if she noticed how I felt?

By Monday morning I still hadn't made a decision about what to do with our secret friendship. I wrote a quick note telling Bella that I had been busy all weekend and that I would write her a proper letter tonight. I placed in today's book of choice, The Messenger. I then hurried off to class. I spend the morning trying to forget my guilt before I had to face Bella in lunch and in class. By lunch I had calmed down enough to face her. The whole lunch period was awkward with her and Alice ignoring each other pointedly. Even Emmett was quieter than usual, making none of his normal crass remarks and sex jokes. Bella sat at one end of the table quietly working on homework with Alice on the other end sketching pictures of dresses and skirts. The rest of us were spread out between them each lost in our own worlds not wanting to take one side over the other. I mentally hoped that they would make up with each other soon, not only for their sake but for the rest of us. The bell finally rang and we all rushed off to our lockers wanting to escape the awkward silence of the lunch table. Neither Bella nor I spoke during class. Today was a lecture day and we both silently scribbled down notes. As the bell rang I saw a small smile ghost Bella's face as she quickly exited the classroom. I felt guilty knowing exactly what she would find. I slowly followed her to the library and sat near her. How I'd managed to go this long without her realizing I was always in the library with her was still surprising to me. I watched as she pulled the note out of the book and quickly scanned it. I saw her smile falter a bit and felt the guilt pull on me harder knowing I did that to her. Her expression changed to one of determination as I watched her pull out her notebook and writes a very lengthy letter to me during the rest of the period. I was nervous about what she would say to me. As soon as she left the library at the end of the period I rushed over to the book she left it in, same as my choice, and pulled it out. I was itching to read it but I knew I should wait till I got home. I contemplated skipping the rest of the day but decided against it. My last class couldn't have dragged on any slower. As soon as the final bell rang I practically sprinted to my locker. I threw my last books in my backpack, waved a quick goodbye to Bella and rushed to my car. I was able to make it out to the parking lot before almost everyone else and made it out before traffic really picked up. I made it home in record time and hurried past my mom up to my room. As soon as I got in I closed my door and threw my backpack on my bed. I pulled my Secret notebook out and extracted Bella's letter. I got comfortable before I opened it.

_Dear Secret,_

_I know you aren't writing me till tonight but I hope you get this letter before then. I'm just so frustrated, On Saturday me and Alice got in a HUGE fight over you. She found a few of our letters in my backpack and flipped. She is acting like this is going to blow up in her face if you are some crazy person. Why couldn't she just trust me? Seriously. I may not know exactly who you are, but I do know that you care and are trustworthy. I know stupid girls always say things like that before something terrible happens, but there's something about you. You just seem different. Please tell me you are? Please tell me who you are? I want this connection we have in real life. No one has ever, no joke I mean EVER, gotten me like you do. You're never judgmental and damn if you aren't good at listening to all my stupid trivial problems. You do so good with those that I want to tell you the big ones. Okay? I trust you with stuff that only the gang, excluding Edward as he's new to the group, knows. And trust me they worked long and hard for my trust. But damn if I don't want someone to trust, someone who's just mine. I know I sound stupid and desperate, but I guess I kind of am desperate. I wish you would tell me who you were. I need more of you. I need to be able to just call you when my day sucks to see you. You always make me feel better. Even on paper, I'm sure you'd do better in person. Though much better and you might have me swooning. Because I need you right now. Someone to tell that I only have one parent. Someone to tell that when I was 9 my parents went out to dinner in Washington, where we used to live, and on their way home were hit by a drunk driver and my mom died on impact. My dad survived and was severely injured. He's had tons of surgery, but only so much could by done. He's in a wheelchair, never to walk again. His face was seriously scarred from him going into the windshield and due to that he doesn't let people see him, besides his doctor at the hospital. Where he has to go at least once a month. He loves me, but we are so distant from each other. He is still hurting from my mom's death, he really did love her. Once she died and we moved up here to get away I hard to grow up real fast. I hated it. My dad was the one to teach me how to drive. He didn't meet my first date. He's never been to a parent teacher conference. Never leaves the house except for his doctor's appointments. Sometimes I feel like were strangers. Sometimes I feel so alone. We have a huge house and I drive a nice car and have everything I want because we not only got the huge life insurance policy from my mothers death but also a large settlement from the drunks drivers estate. Plus my dad makes bank as a website designer. He does it all from home. He makes so much form it that most of the money we were given is mine. I have a huge bank account for when I start college and get a big "allowance" to pay for everything like my car, cell phone, insurance and whatever else I want. But nobody and I mean absolutely nobody knows that I would give it all up in a heart beat if it meant I had my parents back. They were so in love with each other. It seems wrong to split them up like that. My poor dad is basically dead inside from it. I know he loves me, but it's really hard on him. I look a lot like her and it pains him to see her in me everyday when he misses her so much. Oh wow, I just totally spilled my terrible life story to you. Please don't hate me for it. I hope you can understand why I don't like telling people. It's hard and it hurts. Please be there for me. Please tell me who you are?_

_Love, Bella_

I had to read Bella's letter twice for it to really sink in that she just told me what exactly four other people in our school knew. What everyone else speculated about? Fuck, how could I tell her now with her spilling everything to me? I was screwed, officially. I didn't finish any homework that night. I spent the rest of the night writing and rewriting letters to Bella. I finally decided to give her clues as to who I was. But I couldn't tell her, not yet. Not till she trusted Edward, not just Secret. I left my letter for her in a new book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I also scribbled a quick note to tell her to look in the new book. I fell asleep nervous about the next day with Bella. I was elated but terrified that she told me her secrets. How I was going to keep this going, was my last thought before I fell asleep.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**I know, I'm sorry its so short. But damn if real life doesn't like to get in the way of fiction. Ha, well I just wanted to get something out to everyone. I was starting to feel really bad about not updating in so long. But I'm not working now so I should, cross my fingers, have more time to write and that will mean more updates. That are longer. Haha, love all you guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6 

EPOV

I woke up the next morning feeling like I hadn't slept all night. I had tossed and turned so much trying to figure out what to do about me and Bella. But no matter what I just saw this going badly. God, I was so stupid to start this letter business i told myself as I stood in my bathroom glaring at my reflection. My hair stood up in all directions. She would never want this, want me I thought before I growled at the mirror and then showered and quickly readied myself for school. I put my letter to Bella in m backpack and headed downstairs for breakfast with my parents.

"Morning son," my dad greeted me when I entered the room. I just grunted back at him as I sat down to my plate of eggs and toast.

"Oh honey, whats wrong?" my mother asked, always more perceptive than my dad.

"Nothing Mom, just school stress. No worries." I tried to reassure her with lies. I hated lying to her, but i hated it even more when she worried about me, it made her so upset. I gave her a small smile. She smiled back at me, but I could tell she was still worried. I quickly ate, kissed my mom and headed to school. I parked in my usual spot and went straight to the library. I noticed that I was over 30 minutes early for school when I got in so I sat down in one of the seats in the back and pulled out my letter to Bella to read over it over it one more time

_Dear Bella,_

_Wow, I was shocked at your last letter. You don't even know how great it felt that you confided in me so. I really don't think I deserve it, but don't worry Im not going to tell anyone. Its your story to tell, not mine. I'm sorry you and Alice fought over me. You really shouldn't have. I'm sure she means well. She is your best friend after all. She just cares about you and doesn't want to see you get hurt. Which is understandable. I wish I could tell you who I am, but I think you wouldn't like me if I did. I'm not really anyone special. I wish I could be there for you when you need someone to talk to. You have no idea how much I want to be that person. But I never could be. I'm pretty positive you wouldn't like me if you knew who I am. Wow, it sounds like I'm some creepster on the Internet who is actually 40. I guess I could give you a few clues about who I am. Mind you, they wont be super obvious ones that you can figure out right away. Okay, lets see._

_Clue #1. I am a guy. (Ha, that was helpful.)_

_Clue #2. I am in your grade. (Once again, so helpful.)_

_Clue #3. I am shy. (That's pretty obvious, still not helpful.)_

_Clue #4. I am allergic to dogs._

_Hope this helps, okay that was a bit of a lie because I don't really want you to figure me out and hate me. well I've now written a ton so I'm gonna go. Put your next letter in...the black and red collection of Poe works. It's been intriguing me as of late._

_Hope to hear from you soon, Secret_

I ran my hand through my hair before folding up the letter and placing it in the book. I picked up my backpack and headed to my locker. As I approached it I saw Alice was waiting in front of Bella's locker.

"Hey Edward, have you seen Bella yet today?" she asked me when I got closer.

"Um, no. Sorry Alice, I just got here." I told her as I opened my locker.

"Oh, but your car has been parked out front when I got here 15 minutes ago. Where were you?" she asked with a confused look on her face. my brain went into overdrive as I worried. I absolutely could not let her figure this out. Not now. Not ever preferably.

"Um," I paused for a second to collect my thoughts, "I was in the library checking to see if they had a book i wanted, but it wasnt there. " I quickly lied. Alice slightly narrowed her eyes at me. I turned and pulled the things I needed for my first class from my locker and shut it. " I'll tell her you were looking for her. Gotta go," I said without making eye contact. I then hurriedly walked to my first class to escape. Of course it had to be Alice waiting this morning. That girl was way too observant and even worse, was quick to jump to conclusions. She was like a detective in finding things out, and she was almost always right. I realized that my bad situation had just gotten a whole lot worse.

Stupid me for thinking I could do this and everything would be fine. Idiot Edward! I internally yelled at myself as I took my seat in class. My morning went surprising fast, but lunch was a whole different story. It was an awkward affair and seemed to drag on forever. Even worse because Alice was carefully watching me from her seat by Jasper's side. I tried to ignore her as I discussed basketball with Emmett. He was so funny as he told us a story from his basketball class.

"Dude, I'm pretty sure this guy Derek was checking out the goods while I was changing in the locker room. Hope he got an eyefull, cause man is it spectacular down there." he was saying.

"What?!" Rosalie half-shrieked. " Those are only mine to look at. Plus its weird that a guy was looking at them, why are you bragging about this?"

"Babe, come one. I only want to share with the world what I got. These are some goods. Isn't that why you took pictures-" he was cut off by Rosalie smacking him in the back of the head.

"Oww!" he howled as we all laughed at him. "Rosie what was that for?" he whined.

"Emmett some things are private," she hissed as she scowled at him.

"I think I just heard way too much about my sisters sex life," Jasper commented. Rosalie blushed and hit Emmett again.

"Idiot," she muttered before turning back to her salad, avoiding eye contact with anyone. The bell rang shortly after that and we all headed to our lockers. Bella and I discussed our lab that we were starting today while we walked to class together. The lab kept s too busy to really talk other than the occasion comment about our mostly incompetent classmates. We finished our lab with a few minutes to spare. While we waited she told me some of Emmett's more idiotic exploits. We continued talking on our way to our lockers. Once there she quickly rushed to throw her books in her locker and headed to the library with a pen and notebook in hand. I however stood staring at the inside of my locker thinking once again how bad of an idea this whole thing was. It seems all that I can think about is how stupid I am for continuing this letter writing, which is very stupid of me. She is going to hate me when she figures out I was the one writing letters to her. Fuck, fuck, fuck I yell at myself as I slam my locker shut, earning stares, and trudge to the library. This is starting to make me feel kind of creepy. Sneaking around the library, staring at Bella. This as definitly gone to far, but I can't stop now, not when she gets so excited to read one of my letters. I sit in my usual seat and watch Bella.

While doing so I contemplate my new-found anger with myself. There have even been a few f-bombs thrown in whilst I yell at myself internally. I have definitely been spending too much time with Emmett. That was probably his first word, I'm serious. I look up at Bella, she's still smiling while shes reading. I wish she wouldn't because it just makes me feel worse. Half of me wishes she would get mad that I didn't tell her who I was. I mean shit, also a new addition to my vocabulary, she tells me just about her entire life story, which hardly anyone knows, and I can't even tell her the most basic piece of knowledge about myself. I mean how hard is it for me to write, oh by the way this is Edward Cullen, look up and you'll see me staring at you. Apparently that's too fucking hard for me, I'm so selfish. I'm gonna be screwed when she finds out, actually I will be fucked. But still I sit here and watch her. She is now writing back now. Maybe I'll fucking luck out and she'll write that she wants me to leave her alone. I would, I think. This is ridiculous. As much as I know how messed up this is and can only go wrong, I still want to write to her. I sound like a drug adict or an alcoholic. Seriously, hi my name is Edward and I'm a Bella-holic. Any way I can be close with her I will. Shit, this is bad. And I'm still watching her write. How could I not? She's absolutely beautiful. And she has no clue, no clue at all. She doesn't notice guys checking her out everwhere we go, how girls give her the eye when their boyfriend starts staring. No clue. It's adorable.

Finally the bell rings and ends my torture. I grab her letter and leave the library. I go to my last class and basically am a robot. All I can think about is the letter that is burning a hole in my back pocket. As soon is class is over I rush to my locker to get my stuff. I quickly say my goodbye's to Bella and leave school. I need to go home and figure out what I am going to do, And it all depends on the letter that she wrote me.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Okay, I' so sorry. Life was getting in the way of my writing. There was a couple of broken computers and a new job and all sorts of crazynes. I want to thank everyone who has stood by and sent comments and notes to help keep me motivated. Mostly I want to thank Vera-Cruz89. She helped me feel like people actually cared when I needed it most. This chapter was for you. Thanks so much. Well hopefully my next chapter won't take so long to get out. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**EPOV**

Instead of going to my room to read Bella's letter once I got home I went into the library where my piano sat. It had been sadly ignored since meeting Bella. I missed the calm that came from playing the piano. I always put my everything into whatever I played, anyone with an ear for music could tell my feelings just by listening. It always seemed so obvious to me, so I hated letting other people hear my music other than my parents.

The stress of my day and all the worrying I'd done was finally getting to me. My head felt so muddled and full of nonsense. I needed to play and get some of the excess emotion out of my head. I set my back pack down next to the bench and sat down. I placed my fingers above the keys, just reveling in the feel of the smooth, cool ivory underneath my fingertips. This was my second favorite part of playing the piano. The anticipation and excitement knowing that by gently pressing my fingers down I would make beautiful music. I let out a deep sigh, feeling my shoulders relax before I started playing.

I warmed up with a melody I had composed for my parents. It portrayed our relationship through the years. It was full of love, laughter and smiles. It was my mothers favorite composition of mine. I then started playing whatever came to me. Letting out all my anger, annoyance, fears and doubts that had built through the day. The piece wasn't perfect, but that was alright with me. I had proven to myself that I wasn't perfect. I thought that I would always do the right thing even if it would hurt me, but I wasn't doing the right thing. And I highly doubted that I would do the right thing. Some part of me, the selfish side, was perfectly alright with me. I played out my frustrations for well over an hour. Eventually my music mellowed out as my hopes that things would work out came to the forefront of my mind. I played with my eyes closed, refusing to mar my own form of therapy with outside influences. When I played it was all about my head and heart and I hated when outside influences changed my music. I let the music slowly die down and finally end. The few seconds following the end of my music was my favorite part. It was so quiet in my head and I felt so relaxed.

I removed my hands from the keys and slowly turned on the bench to face my bag. I pulled Bella's letter out and set it on the bench. I sighed one more time before picking it up and unfolding it to read it.

_Dear Secret,_

_I'm so happy that you're not all freaked out by my letter. Most people wouldn't take that too well. Which is why I haven't told too many people. I like the idea of you giving me clues as to who you are. It's like a word puzzle or something. Okay now to dissect your clues._

_First clue: You're a guy, okay so not super helpful, but it does narrow it down to only half the school. I kinda figured you were, but validating my assumption is nice._

_Second clue: You're in my grade. Once again not incredibly helpful, but still helping narrow down the list of people. I'm glad to hear you're not some freshman or something. Haha._

_Third clue: You're shy. Okay seriously? Like I hadn't figured that out already? Haha, well that means you're definitely not on the football team, but you could be a total geek. Not that I'm complaining. _

_Fourth clue: You're allergic to dogs. Now this is a somewhat helpful clue, but only if I know you! What am I gonna do, run around school and ask every guy in our grade if they are allergic to dogs? Not happening, then everyone really will think I'm crazy._

_Well anyways, I've been thinking. I really miss Alice, she's been my best friend for years. I hate being in a fight with her. Plus it's tearing the group in two. Which makes me feel awful. I think I'm going to text her tonight and see if we can fix this. What do you think? I just hope she lets this whole letter thing go. It's not really her business. I want, no need this for myself. If I am happy then she should be happy right? That's what I think anyway. Well, now I've written even more than you. So I'm gonna go. Leave your next book in....Physics of the Impossible. I'm feeling a little geeky today. _

_Sincerely, _

_Bella_

I set the page down and roughly ran my hands through my hair. Half of me was elated that she was alright with me just giving her a couple of crappy clues instead of telling her who I really was. The other half of me wanted her to be angry. To tell me she never wanted to write to me again. That she hated me for lying and refusing to tell her my true identity. She was making this decision so much harder for me.

I jumped off the piano bench and started pacing the library. My head was warring with itself. It actually physically hurt. I was in too deep now to stop, or so I tried to convince myself. Ignoring her now would just hurt her, right? She would think that it was because of her story about her life. But none of that scared me away. I'm not sure why she would think it would. If anything it made me want to be around her more. To try to protect her from everything that could possibly hurt her, she had dealt with enough. Actually she had dealt with too much in her life. I hated that, it just wasn't fair that all of that shit happened to her. I couldn't think. I knew playing the piano wouldn't help now. I took the stairs to my room a few at a time and quickly changed into a breathable workout shirt and a pair of running shorts. I tied on my running shoes and grabbed my iPod. I flew down the stairs and out the front door, yelling to my parents that I was going for a run as I left. I put my iPod on my angry running play list, starting it off with U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday". I took off at a quick pace heading down our long driveway, intent on running till my head was empty. I ran without really seeing what was around me, keeping my eyes trained ahead.

I loved the freedom that came with running. It was like I left all of my problems and worries further behind me with every step I took. I reveled in the burn in thighs, knowing that my strong legs would keep me going for miles. I loved the rush of the cool, fresh air with every breathe I took. Running was so mindless, there was no necessary thinking involved in this activity. It gave me time to mull over the confusion in my head. I had run for well over an hour before I even considered turning around and going home. Even though I had no clue where I was, my feet knew the way home. I heard the sound of my feet hitting the pavement in beat with the music blaring in my ears. That combined with my breathing and the sounds of my clothes moving made a calming music for my over-frazzled brain.

By the time I arrived home I had been gone for about three hours. I felt gloriously exhausted. I didn't even stop to eat before going up to my room. I knew the second I stopped moving that I would be done. I made it to my bed falling face first, asleep as soon as my face hit the pillows. I had dreams of Bella's soft smile and quiet laughter all night and slept amazing.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

**EPOV**

I woke up at ten thirty the next morning and freaked out. I jumped out of bed freaking out that I was so late for school. I threw on the first clean clothes I could find and brushed my teeth before taking the stairs three at a time. I came running into the kitchen, deodorant in one hand and the other trying to smooth my hair down. My mom was sitting at the bar drinking a mug of coffee. She looked at me and immeadiately started laughing at me.

"What? Why are you laughing? How could you let me sleep in so late, Mom? I missed my first two classes!" I exclaimed as I threw the deodorant down on the table and quickly started rummaging through the fridge for something to eat on my way to school. I could hear my mother still laughing behind me, I was starting to get annoyed.

"Edward, it's Saturday," she said in between bouts of laughter. "You don't have to be at school today. Did you forget?"She said before she burst back into laughter, tears streaming down her face.

I slammed the fridge door shut and stared at her mentally counting the days.

"Fuck." I said to myself as I realized my stupidity. It was Saturday, how had I forgotten that.

"Language Edward," my mother said to me as she righted herself on her seat.

"Sorry, mom." I said as I grabbed my deodorant and left the kitchen. "I'm gonna go take a shower." I told her as I headed up the stairs. I went to my bathroom and put my deodorant back and started the water. I quickly jumped in and washed up. I got out and wrapped a towel around myself and wiped my mirror off with my hand. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and thought about Bella's letter. I had to give her more of me, that was only fair. She had given me what only a few people had about her. And all I had given her about me was that I was allergic to dogs.

"Fuck," I muttered to myself as I turned and went into my room to get ready. As soon as I was done getting dressed my cell phone started ringing Three 6 Mafia's 'Poppin My Collar", it was Emmett calling.

"Hey Em," I answered as I ran my hand through my hair, the only thing I did to it in the morning.

"Hey man. Me and Jasper are going for pizza, you want to come?' Emmett loudly said into the phone.

"Sure, where you guys going?"

"Pizza Hut. I love their fucking buffalo wings man." This should be interesting, Emmett and anything sauce covered was sure to be a show of his idiocy and inability to eat properly.

"Yeah I'll come. Want to meet there in 15 minutes?" I asked him as I walked over to my desk to grab my wallet.

"Sweet! Bye!" Emmett yelled in the phone before hanging up. I shoved my wallet in my back pocket and headed out of my room to let my parents know I was leaving. I was starving after my run last night and not eating breakfast this morning. My mom and dad were in the living room watching tv.

"Hey I'm going to go have pizza with the guys. I'll be back later." I stopped to put my shoes and jacket on as I told my parents.

"That's fine sweetheart. Have fun." My mom answered as my dad just nodded at me. I grabbed my keys and walked out my car and left for Pizza Hut. Emmett and Jasper were already sitting when I got inside.

"Hey man," Jasper greeted me as I slid into the booth next to him, Emmett needed his own side of the table he was fucking huge. As soon as I sat down the waitress came by our table.

"Hi, my name is Tanya and I'll be your server today." She turned to me and bent down a little displaying her fantastic cleavage to me. "How can I help you?" I tried to ignore her innuendo and batting eyelashes. She was hot of course, but fake and not my type at all.

"Can I get a coke please?" I asked without making eye contact. She sighed before straightening back up and asking Jasper what he wanted.

"I'll have the same." She nodded briefly before turning to Emmett who had the biggest smile on his face. He whispered his order, even I couldn't hear what he said. Tanya leaned closer to hear him.

"I'd like a Sprite and we'll have a large stuffed crust meat lovers and a double order of buffalo wings, extra sauce." The whole time he ordered he stared at her chest. She huffed and stalked off as me and Jasper burst into laughter at Emmett's ridiculousness.

"Dude, that was fucking classic." Emmett exclaimed, proud of himself. 'I am a legend."

"Man, if Rosalie ever found out about that she would kill you." Jasper said trying to calm down his laughter. I agreed with Jasper, that girl did not fuck around if you pissed her off and she hated other girls even looking at Emmett. His face paled at the thought of what Rosalie would do.

"You guys can't say anything. She might take away my video of us!" He threw his hands up like a little kid. Upon hearing this Jasper spit his water across the table on Emmett's face.

"You have a video of you two?" He managed to choke out, turning red in the face.

"Man, don't get pissed cause she's your sister and all, it was her idea I swear!" Emmett tried to backpedal, afraid that Jasper was pissed. Jasper tried to glare at him for a second before starting a whole new round of laughter.

"I hope I never see that, that would scar me for life. Besides you should be worried, if she ever gets pissed at you, that shit will be on youtube faster than you can say sorry baby to her." Jasper told him.

"Fuck! But I love that video! She wouldn't do that to me would she?" Emmett asked, seemingly actually worried.

"Hell yeah she would. You know Rose, shoot first ask questions later." Jasper calmly said. He shrugged, "She'd do it without even a second thought. And be proud of how good she looks in it." Emmett looked truly scared for a second before thrusting his hand in his pocket and whipping out his cell phone. He quickly dialed Rosalie's cell number.

"Hey baby...I'm just calling to tell you how much I love you....No! I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.....I promise. I was just thinking about you.....Oh really?..Later tonight?.....Fuck yeah I'll be there....I love you too baby. Bye." He hung up the phone with a huge smile on his face.

"What about later tonight?" I asked him.

"Well Rosalie said tonight we could try to.."Emmett started to say.

"NO!" Jasper cut him off."I do not want to hear what you and my sister will be doing in bed. Look theres our food. Lets just eat okay?" Jasper said as Tanya found a way to yet again show me her breasts as she sat our food on the table.

"Is there anything else I could do with...oops I mean for you?" Tanya asked looking very pointedly at me.

"Not for me, but you could my friend here some extra napkins. It might get a little dirty around here." I said keeping my eyes focused on the pizza set before me. As she walked away the guys started laughing at me again. We finished up lunch after laughing at Emmett's ability to get buffalo sauce everywhere on his face. I went home after and went straight up to my room. I needed to write that letter to Bella. I scrubbed my hands on my face and ran them through my hair as I blew out a big gust of air. I had been so calm about doing this, and now I was nervous. Fuck, I am stupid, I thought one more time to myself before pulling out paper and a pen and starting my letter to her.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm glad you like the idea of me giving you clues about myself. I wish I could just tell you who I am, as I'm sure you do too, but for various reasons including my own cowardice I can't. But I can give you four more clues about myself._

_Clue #1. I play many musical instruments, but the piano is by far my most favorite and the one I play the best._

_Clue #2. I like to play basketball on the occasion, though it's not my best sport. _

_Clue #3. My favorite color is brown, weird yes, but there are many reasons behind that._

_Clue #4. I drive like everything is a crisis and need to be wherever I'm heading NOW. Yet no speeding tickets yet._

_I hope these ones are more helpful than the first ones I gave you. I'm feeling a bit braver today I guess. _

_Anyways, I think you should talk to Alice, you two have been friends for such a long time, it seems stupid to end over me and a few letters. Just sit down with her and tell her why you were upset about it. Maybe she'll understand, everyone does need something thats just for them. Well, I know this letter is short, but I am dead tired. Leave your next letter in The Great Influenza. _

_Awaiting your next letter, _

_Secret_

I read over the letter one more time, decided that it was good enough before folding it up and placing it in my backpack. I pulled my books out and completed the rest of my homework before going to sleep.

Sunday was a slow day. I spent most of the day helping my mom clean while my dad was at work. We didn't talk too much, both of us intent on our respective tasks. After dinner that night I played the piano again, this time the music was different. I thought of Bella as I played, how I loved to see her whole face light up when she read my letters, the contemplative look she had as she thought about my clues, and the excited face as she wrote out a letters to me. I thought of how her neck curved so gracefully as she wrote, how her lips looked so soft and inviting when she pursed them as she was reading. She was beauty incarnate, and she had no fucking clue. The music changed, expressing my pain at knowing how wrong this was, the pain of being so close and yet not close enough at all to her. Then the knowledge that this would never work out showed and the music became so sad and depressing. I instantly hated it, hated the piano, and most of all hated myself.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed before jumping off the bench and slamming the lid to the keys down. "Fucking piano," I grumbled before sulking my way back to my room. Why did I get into this mess and why couldn't I start making it better instead of continually making it worse. I kicked my bed frame once before stripping to my boxers and getting into bed. I soon fell into a worried, fitful sleep filled with dreams of an angry Bella.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Look, a chapter posted not too long after the last! Exciting! So I just wanted to thank everyone who has stuck with this story, even with the long update times. It means so much to me. I spent the last few days writing responses to all the reviews I got, sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I do read every review and love them all, and you guys! **

**There is a new story in the works. It does not have a title yet, but is written in both points of view and is for a much older audience. Review to get teasers....Love you all! --Aiden28**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Yep, still not mine. Damn.**

**CHAPTER 9**

**EPOV**

The next morning sucked, I was so tired from not sleeping well. I would have stayed home from school had I not wanted to get my letter to Bella. I got to school and put the note in the book and headed to our lockers. Alice and Bella were there talking, it looked like they had made up over the weekend. Which was good to see. I hated that they were fighting over me, especially since they didn't even know it was me that was causing the problems. And cue shame at my cowardice. I gave them a small hello before opening my locker to put my bag in and pull out the books I needed for my first class. I nodded bye to them as I shuffled to class. I did not want to be here. Not at all.

The day went by fairly slow. Lunch wasn't very eventful, I sat quietly pretending to listen to Emmett and Jasper discuss the pros and cons of the PlayStation 3, while I was actually watching Bella and Alice and Rosalie talk. I was happy to see them talking, I just wished I could hear what they were saying. They were all huddled together talking pretty quiet. I watched them till the bell rang that lunch was over. We all walked to our lockers and me and Bella headed to class together. It was a lecture day so we didn't talk, just furiously wrote down notes. I of course spent the free period watching Bella read my letter and writing a new one. Soon my school day was over and I was heading home with Bella's newest letter. I mumbled a hello to my parents before hurrying up to my room to read the letter.

_Dear Secret,_

_I'm glad you agreed with me about talking to Alice. I called her over the weekend and we met up for coffee on Saturday. We talked for I swear hours. She explained that she was just worried about me and didn't want to see me get hurt. I explained to her that I was fully capable of taking care of myself and while I appreciated that she cared I wanted this for me But I did agree to share the letters I received from you as long as she didn't judge or say anything and was happy for me. She agreed to my terms I hope you don't mind. She seemed really excited when I showed them to her. She thinks that this is the cutest thing she's ever seen. And that she wishes Jasper would man up already and do something special like this for her. I'm not sure if I've told you about them. Or really any of my friends. Ugh now I feel terrible. I've been so caught up with this that I haven't really told much about the people closest to me. I want you to know about them, most people don't really know them well. Okay lets start with Alice. She's been my best friend since I moved up here when I was 9, right after the accident. She was the first person I met at our elementary school. She made the decision for me that not only would we be friends, but best friends. Most people just see who she she is on the outside. She's a cheerleader with me. She __loves, and I mean LOVES to shop and designs her own clothes too. She wants to be a designer one day. She is loud, energetic, and always tons of fun. People think she's an airhead, but she is really smart and one of the most compassionate people I know. She was already close with Emmett, their parents have been friends for a long time. He's a football player, defense obviously by his size, and loves all sports. People tend to think he's just an idiot jock with a dirty mind. While this may be true some of the time he is also really smart. He knows science like he knows football plays. He actually takes college level science classes, cause the ones here are too easy for him. People are usually afraid of him, but he's just a big lovable teddy bear. I think of him as a brother. He met Rosalie freshman year and they started dating shortly after. Rosalie is absolutely beautiful and people never look past that. She is totally into fixing up anything with a motor, she's rebuilt a few cars, snow machines and even one boat engine. Also she's really quiet so people think shes a bitchy snob. Which isn't really true. While Rose has no problem telling someone like it is, even if it will hurt their feeling, she's super loyal to the people she cares about and will do whatever she can to help them no matter what. Her twin brother is Jasper. People always think he's a stoner cause he's always relaxed But he doesn't do drugs, never has never will He's a total history buff and can list of facts better than a history book. He's really deep and always good at seeing the bigger picture and mediating fights. He is in love with Alice, but is much too shy to tell her how he feels. She likes him too, but refuses to say anything to him about her feelings, she wants him to grow a pair and ask her out. I wish she would just cut the guy some slack, she knows how shy is he is. Her loss I guess. So that's the story of the gang. Now to discuss those clues you gave me._

_First Clue: You play piano, among other instruments. This is somewhat helpful, as most kids our age don't play the piano, but I'd have to know you to know if you did._

_Second Clue: You play basketball, and other sports. This could mean you've played at school and I've seen you, but no guarantees for that._

_Third Clue:Your favorite cor is brown. This is different, but not something easy to know. _

_Fourth Clue: You drive really fast. This could be helpful, but only if I've heard about your driving or have ridden in a car with you. _

_Well, I look forward to your next letter and more clues. I feel like a detective, haha. Well leave your next letter in A Wrinkle In Time. It's been one of my long time favorites._

_Looking forward to your next letter,_

_Bella_

I wasn't sure exactly how I felt about Bella's letter. I was happy she shared more with me about her life and what matters to her, but I was a bit nervous about her sharing the letters with her friends. Of course I couldn't tell her that. I knew that this was bringing her and Alice back together, and I didn't want to ruin that. I figured that this was what her, Alice and Rosalie were talking about on lunch. I ran my hands through my hair and blew out a heavy breath of air. I set the letter aside and worked on my homework till dinnertime with my parents. We were sitting quietly when my dad starting talking to me.

"Edward, hows the letter writing going?" I looked at my dad, surprised he even remembered us discussing that and that he knew I still was writing letters.

"Um, good I guess." I vaguely told him.

"Have you told her who you are yet?" My mom asked me. I frowned, not really wanting to discuss it much.

"Uh, no. I've been giving her clues about me."

"Oh, that's sweet honey. But don't you think you should tell her who you are?" My mother asked, ever supportive of me.

"I can't Mom. She'll hate me if I told her that it was me sending her all those letters." I told my mom as I dropped my fork on the table to run both my hands through my hair, I pulled on it once for good measure. I looked up at my mom to see her looking confused.

"Why wouldn't she like you sweetheart? I loved the letters your father sent to me." She told me.

I just stared at her for a moment, trying to understand how she didn't get why Bella would hate me if she knew it was really me. My father discreetly coughed and I looked in his direction and saw that he understood what I was trying to say.

"Esme, sweetheart, Edward and this girl have obviously shared personal things to each other and he is worried that she will resent him for leading her on, since they probably know each other at school and aren't nearly as close. Am I right son?" He looked to me. I glumly nodded my head as an answer.

"I don't know what to do about this. I don't see her being very happy with me when she figures out who I am. Especially since we've been writing letters for so long to each other." I told them.

"Well, I'm not sure what the right thing to do is. All I can suggest is that you do tell her who you are and soon. The longer she doesn't know the more likely she is to be very angry at you." He advised me. I sighed, and asked to be excused from dinner. My dad nodded and I left the dining room with my dirty dishes. I placed them in the sink before heading up to my room to try and write a letter to Bella. I ended up writing two letters to her. One with four more clues about me for her. And one telling her who I am and why I had done this. I spent hours on both of them but by the time I needed to go to bed I still couldn't figure out which one I should give her. I went to bed hoping sleep would help clear my head and I would know what to do in the morning.

I woke the next morning still not knowing which letter to give to Bella. My dad was right, that I couldn't drag this out for too long, but at the same time I was terrified of how angry she would be with me. I got ready for school with the decision weighing heavily in my mind. I placed both letters in my bag before heading down to eat a quick breakfast before school. Luckily my parents were both gone already so I didn't have to talk to them more about the letters and what I would do about it. I drove to school and went to the library and stood in front of the shelf with the book that I was supposed to leave my letter in. I had a letter in each hand, still completely unsure of which to give her. I closed my eyes as I placed one in the book and put it back on the shelf, before I fled the library.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**This is my first cliffie, I hope it keeps you hanging. Sorry about taking awhile to update, been working on my new story, Conversations With..., please go check it out. It's very different from this story, but I hope you like it. **

**Please, please review....I miss reading them and knowing that people care. I'm new to this whole fanfic thing and feedback is insanely important to me.**

**--aiden28**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Wouldn't it be nice...but it's still not mine. Okay, maybe the angst it.****CHAPTER 10**

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**EPOV**

I slowed to a walk as I approached me and Bella's locker, trying to be inconspicuous. She was there with Alice and Rosalie and they were once again in deep conversation, now that I knew what they were probably talking about I was really nervous. Alice was extremely intuitive and Rosalie was pretty fucking sharp about shit. I hoped they didn't figure it it was me writing the letters before I told Bella. That would be the worst. I greeted the girls, collected my books and left for class. My stomach was all tied up in knots and I felt like my breakfast was going to make a repeat performance, backwards.

The morning dragged on forever, and every time I saw Bella between classes I felt worse. I started wishing that I had never heard of my dad writing letters to my mom, that I had never written to Bella and that she ever wrote back to me. This was wrong. I was an idiot, a terrible person for lying to Bella all this time.

By lunch time my nerves were shredded to almost non existence and my hair was probably a wreck from me messing with it constantly, a nervous habit I picked up from my dad. Lunch was mostly the same as yesterday, the girls were deep in conversation so I just talked to Em and Jasper.

"Hey Eddie," Emmett said to me.

"Fuck Emmett, you know I hate when people call me that." I snapped at Emmett, I was in no mood to deal with people right now. I probably should have gone for a drive during my lunch to help me cool off. This was a bad idea, I felt a little ominous about lunch.

"Sorry man. Too easy. So I was gonna ask if you wanted to come play some basketball after school with me and Jazz and a couple other guys from school. Were meeting at the park near my house."

"I dunno. Basketball is not my best game. And I know Jazz is fucking awesome at it." I tried to make an excuse. I noticed that as I said that Alice looked over at me with her head cocked to the side as if she was remembering something. I wondered what.

"Come on Edward. I'm not that great either. It'll be fun. We're gonna be there at 5:30." Emmett asked again. I knew he just wanted me there to kick my ass.

"5:30?" I asked and Emmett nodded. "I can't, I've got a piano lesson at 5:15." Emmett looked incredulously at me.

"You take piano lessons?" He asked as he started laughing. I frowned at him.

"No, I teach piano. I know how to play very well and its an easy way to make extra money." As soon as I said that I wanted to slap myself. Alice's head had snapped up and now she was glaring at me. Fuck. This was bad. She looked at me pointedly before nodding her head to the gym, she then excused herself to go to the bathroom. I sighed heavily, knowing she wanted me to meet up with her. I mumbled an excuse to get up right after her and followed her to a hallway around the corner where no one was at. She was standing in an alcove and she looked pissed.

'What?" I warily asked her as I ran my hands through my hair.

"Who the fuck are you? Are you allergic to dogs? Is your favorite color brown? Do you write in calligraphy? Are you writing letters to Bella?" By the end of her questions she was almost yelling at me. I wanted to deny it, for her to not know. Preferably never find out the truth. But it seemed like this was the worlds way at getting back at me for my inability to not fuck shit up. How could I deny it? I had wanted to sing from the rooftops when she wrote back to me, when she kept writing. I wanted to take pictures of her soft smile when she read my words and blow them up and cover the city in them. I wanted to publish our letters, so everyone would know she was mine in some way. In this sick, fucked up way she was mine. Even if only for a little bit, and without her even knowing. I knew I had to tell the truth to Alice.

"I'm Edward. Yes I'm allergic to dogs. Yes my favorite color is brown. Yes I know how and do write in calligraphy." I paused before the next sentence left my mouth. I was terrified. I barely whispered, "And yes I have been writing letters to Bella." I wished I could hang my head in shame so I would never have to see Alice's reaction, but it was impossible. As terrified as I was to know how she would react I had to know, maybe it would be a glimpse of what Bella would be like.

Alice exploded.

"Get outside now. This is a conversation I need to have with you away from other people." She spit through her teeth as she sharply turned on her heel and stormed outside up to the field. The same field that Bella and I had shared a lunch she packed specifically for us. The flash of warmth through my body was quickly cooled by Alice's icy glare.

"How could you do this? Do you know how you can hurt her?" She screamed at me. I cringed at her anger.

"Alice, I would never hurt Bella." I tried to placate her.

"Bullshit Edward. She is so fucking introverted. What did she tell you?" I opened my mouth to respond, but she cut me off. "And don't even think of lying to me."

"I wasn't going to. I guess she's told me most of everything. Her parents, the crash, her dad, her home life, about all of you." I listed off the things Bella had shared with me. Alice deflated slightly.

"Do you know how long it takes her to open up to someone. And do you even know how betrayed she will feel when she finds out its you?"

"No, but I will find out in just a few hours." Alice looked at me confused. I felt the need to clarify. "I left her a letter this morning that tells her who I am. She will be getting it right after fifth period. In her free period."

"How do you know that?"

"I have the same free period as her. I also prefer to spend mine in the library. So I think I will have a pretty good idea of how hurt she will be." I had no energy left at that thought, it was horrifying. I fell into the bleacher behind me with a thud. Alice was quiet for a time. Contemplative.

"Why did you decide to tell her?" she quietly asked as she sat down next to me.

"Because I love her. And I want her to love me too. Not my letters. Me." I stared at my shoes intensely, afraid of my confession. Alice surprised me by wrapping her tiny arms around my shoulders in an enthusiastic hug.

"You love her? That's fantastic!" She exclaimed.

"No it's not fantastic. You do realize she will never feel the same for me. She is going to hate me Alice. But she needed the truth. And I've been dying knowing the secret I've kept from her." Alice's arms unwound themselves from me as she pulled me to face her.

"It is fantastic. You have to tell her Edward. She needs this. And I think you do too."

"I can't. Because nobody needs a liar to love them." I harshly told Alice. She didn't understand my pain. Things were not always rainbows and sunshine. "Besides we both know she would never believe me if I told her that." Alice nodded her head, agreeing with me."I need to go. I don't think I can be there when she finds out. Though my morbidly curious side wishes I would stay. I'm going for a drive." I told Alice as I stood up to leave. I was suddenly grateful that I had worn my coat to lunch as it had my keys and wallet. Alice stood as well and as I started to leave she stopped me to give me a big hug.

"I'll stay. I'll skip that period. I'll be Edward for an hour and watch for you." She whispered into my chest where her small head rested. I looked down at her in astonishment.

"Thank you Alice. Bye." I told her as she stepped back to let me flee. I resisted the urge to run to my car, but walked briskly nonetheless. I quickly climbed in and started my engine. I drove off the school property with no destination in mind. Just to escape my pain and her face. I drove the opposite way on the highway from my house and our town. I flew over flat lands and past small broken trees that I suddenly felt akin with. I wasn't even ashamed of the tears that started streaming down my face. I had done this to myself. I deserved this. I suppressed a growl at my stupidity and pressed my foot harder on the gas. I needed to be away, as afar away as I could. I couldn't deal with this.

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**AUTHORS NOTE**

**It took a little longer than I wanted, but I just couldn't get myself in the right mind frame. Or decide which letter to give her. But Edward decided for me, thank god. Otherwise this chapter would've never come out. **

**I hope you all enjoy, please leave reviews. They make me smile and break up my otherwise stressful day.**


	11. Chapter 11

**It would be pretty sweet, but it's not mine. Not at all. ****C****HAPTER 11**

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**APOV**

To say I was pissed about Edward writing these letters to Bella and lying about them would be an understatement. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel relieved. I knew him and he seemed like he was a good guy. Jasper likes him and hes a pretty good judge of character. At first I thought he was just writing to her to hurt Bella, but when he admitted that he loved her I could see where he was coming from. Bella was nice to everybody but she definitely kept mostly to herself. Emmett beating up any guy who said anything about her helped to. I guess we all coddled her a bit. It made me want to have her leave early with me just so she wouldn't read the letter. But I knew Edward needed this. And Bella didn't know it yet,but she needed it too. She may think she was good at hiding her feelings, but I've known her for so long. I know her being the only single one in the group is hard. She's lonely, and needs someone who loves her. Not a ghost and not somebody else. She needs Edward, and I think maybe he needs her too. So I would go and watch this fall apart for her. Because I knew she wouldn't take this well. Bella hated being lied to more than anything in the world. After Edward left I headed back inside. I sat down next to Bella and Rosalie and listened to them discuss Bella's letters. I was glad that they were so wrapped up in the conversation that they didn't notice how quiet I was being. I couldn't pretend I didn't know who it was. Thankfully lunch ended shortly after that and we all left the lunchroom. That's when the guys noticed Edward's absence.

"Hey Em, you seen Edward? He never came back from lunch." Jasper asked as we walked up the stairs.

"I don't know man. Probably practicing his free throws or something," Emmett laughed and bounded off towards his locker towing Rosalie behind him. I had no idea how she dealt with him sometimes. He was such a large child. I also left Bella to go my locker and get my books for class. I really didn't want to sit through History when all I could think about was the letter in the library. I sat in the back of class for once and just tried to figure out how Bella would react. Sometimes it was hard to figure her out. Most of the time I could predict her reactions, but there were some instances that she surprised me. I tried to think of a time where something similar happened to her but I couldn't. Edward was nothing if not creative. I could only hope for him that she went easy on him. That she wouldn't let her hurt cloud her mind. Once you got past the fact that he lied you could see that it really was a sweet gesture. If he was going to tell people her secrets or betray her trust he could have done it weeks ago.

Somehow I made it through class without my teacher calling on me for anything and was headed back to my locker to put everything away except for my sketchpad so I at least looked busy. I avoided Bella in the hall and followed her distantly into the library. I hung back by the door and watched her walk up to a shelf and pull a book out. She sat down at a nearby chair that was tucked away and smiled at the book in her hand.

I was starting to think that this might go worse than I thought as I found a chair with a clear view of her but unnoticeable so she couldn't see me. I opened up my notepad and watched Bella look around before opening that book and pulling out Edward's letter. Her smile was even bigger as she opened it. This was going to be bad. She's too attached and caught up to think rationally. I looked down for a second to steel myself for the show.

I glanced back up as she started reading. I watched as her smile dropped as she quickly cycled from happy to hurt to angry. All I could think was fuck, fuck, fuck. This was bad.

"You've got to be kidding me! That fucking asshole!" She yelled as she jumped at of her seat. Everyone in the library looked up at her as she stood breathing hard, tears streaming down her face, letter crumpled tightly in her hand. She swore again before running out of the library without making eye contact with anybody. As much as I wanted to go after her and make sure she was okay I knew I couldn't. Then she'd know that I knew before her and gave my okay. Then we'd have a real shit-storm on our hands. I forced myself to stay seated for the rest of the period despite what I wanted. As soon as the bell rang I shot out of the library to my locker, hoping to have time to see if Bella was still there. She wasn't so I just grabbed my things and left. I drove home not caring that I'd skipped two classes. I checked my phone every few seconds hoping for a call or even a text from Bella but the screen stayed blank. I knew I couldn't call her till school was out or she'd think something was up. So now I just had to wait.

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**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Okay, a few things. First off I'm so sorry that this took me so long. It was my 21st birthday, and then one of my best friend's 21st birthdays and then I was having some health issues. Then I couldn't decide how I wanted this to go. But it's in a new POV. Surprisingly hard one to get into. I hope you like it. Please PLEASE review. I need it, I'm feeling a little insecure after the last chapter. I know some of you think that Alice/Edward are overreacting about Bella's reaction and I love to hear your opinions, but thats the Bella I've always had in mind. Just the way she is. Sorry. **

**Once again, please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**It would be amazing if this was mine, but Ms Meyer beat me to it (I swear I thought of it first, haha)**

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**CHAPTER 12**

**EPOV**

My hands ripped my steering wheel tightly as I sped away from the mess I'd created. I left my stereo off, letting the angry thoughts in my mind drown me. I drove for hours, never even noticing my surroundings. Eventually my car beeped at me that I needed to stop an get gas. I realized I was right outside Fairbanks. I was surprised that I had managed to get so far. I pulled into a small gas station and started filling up my tank. As I waited I pulled my phone out of my back pack and turned it on. I had a few missed calls and voice mail messages from my parents. I sighed, sure I was in trouble and called my house.

"Edward?" My mom said breathlessly as if she'd run to get the run

"Hi Mom. I-" she didn't even let my finish.

"Where have you been? Your father and I have been so worried about you. We got a call from your school that you missed half the day! What is going on?" I felt horrible that they had been so worried.

"I'm sorry Mom. I was having a bad day and needed to get away. I can explain but I'd rather do it in person."

"Well where are you at now son?" My fathers voice asked,they must each have a phone.

"Um, well I'm at a gas station near Fairbanks." I cringed thinking of how far I was.

"What!" My mother exclaimed, obviously shocked that I had gotten so far. Me and her both.

"Well, that's quite a drive. I don't really want you to drive back now, it's getting pretty late. Why don't you head into Fairbanks, I'll get you a room at a hotel. I'll look one up and get a reservation for you. I'll call you in a few minutes, okay?"

"Thanks Dad."

"Be safe son." My father said and I heard him hang up his phone.

"I love you Edward," My mom said. I smiled at that. I was so relieved she wasn't angry with me.

"I love you too Mom, bye." She also said goodbye before we both hung up. Seeing that my tank was full I pulled the nozzle out of my car and drove off into Fairbanks. Shortly after getting into downtown Fairbanks my phone rang again, it was my dad. I grabbed it and he let me know that he got me a reservation at the Hampton Inn & Suites. He paid over the phone and told me to use my card they gave me to get some dinner. We quickly got off the phone and I headed towards the hotel using the directions my dad had given me. It didn't take long to find the hotel, I checked in and headed for my room. I sat down on the bed letting my head fall into my hands. I wish I had gotten Alice's number before I ran away. I wanted to know what happened when Bella got my letter. Was she as angry as I pictured? Did she cry? God I hoped not, the thought of Bella in tears stabbed at my heart sharply. I sat there, imagining every outcome to this mess until my stomach growled loudly at me. I grudgingly admitted I should still function despite my fear and pain. I ended up walking to a nearby restaurant to get a burger. I sat alone at the bar watching the people around me. After awhile a voice near me started talking to me.

"Who's the girl that put that look on your face?" I looked to my right to see an older man with crazy gray hair whose bright blue eyes were sharply examining my face. I must have looked confused because e spoke up again. "You know, the heartbroken face you have right now."

"She didn't do it. I did." I quietly admitted to him.

"What did you do? Ain't much that can't be fixed? Trust me, see that waitress over there?" He pointed to an older lady helping a family. She was perfect grandmother material with her warm smile and quiet voice. I nodded to him. "That's my wife of 50 years. We've seen it all. I bet I can help you out of your pickle that's got your girl in a huff."

"Uh, well" I paused, embarrassed to tell him, "I lied to her about something big. I didn't cheat or anything. Just uh,made her think something about me that wasn't true." I barely understood that statement myself and highly doubted he would.

"I see. Well it seems to me that you're gonna have to prove the person you really are to her. That you are worth all the trouble you've created." I stared at him. I hadn't really thought of that. I just assumed that she'd never give me the time of day. But she had, we were friends. She let me in the group. I'm sure he saw the epiphany on my face, he clapped me on the back and said, "Go get your girl young man" I smiled at him, threw down some cash for my dinner and hurried back to my hotel room. I needed a plan. And one that included a serious apology to Bella. I sat at the in room desk scribbling down my plan for hours before I finally passed out in bed with a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to get home and implement Project Get Bella Back.

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**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Okay, I admit it I suck. It took me forever to update. There isn't really much of a good excuse. Just couldn't get in the right frame of mind. I never could get past the first sentence of this chapter. Sorry. Please PLEASE PLEASE review, I adore every one I receive. They make all the frustration totally worth it.**

**I love all of you! Thanks for sticking around!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Same story, its not mine. Wish it was.  


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CHAPTER 13**

**EPOV**

I awoke the next morning surprised that I had managed to sleep through the whole night as soundly as I did. I was glad for it though while I was making the long drive back to my house. It gave me time to think in a more rational frame of mind. I went over the plan in my head again, making small adjustments to it. All in all however I was pretty pleased with it, though it wasn't a grand scheme by any means. My first step was to see Alice once I got back in town. I needed to know what happened after I left. Maybe bring her flowers or something for being on my side, even if just to watch Bella for me. I knew that I would have to let the rest of the gang in on what had happened as I would eventually need their support. I was terrified of what they would do to me. Bella was one of their best friends and I had lied to her. I had gotten her to tell me things no one else knew about. Hopefully the fact that we were all friends would keep Jasper and Emmett from kicking my ass too much. Though there was Rosalie to contend with. She was her own issue. It would all be worth it in the end if Bella would even acknowledge me after this.

I needed some help with the next few steps in my plan. I didn't know angry Bella well enough to know what she did and didn't like when a person was trying to apologize to her. I knew she would want honesty. I was pretty sure she wasn't a girl that flowers and gifts were enough. I had a feeling the biggest thing she would need was time. I didn't care how long she needed, she would get it.

Time passed quickly as I continued to brainstorm things to do to help show Bella that I was to be trusted. Once I got near Eagle River I called Jasper to get Alice's number from him.

"Hey man, what happened to you yesterday? You just disappeared after lunch." Jasper answered the phone.

"Oh yeah, I had some stuff to do. Anyways, this is kinda weird, but can I get Alice's number from you? I need to ask about something." I felt weird even asking.

"Sure, it's 907-244-1234. What do you need it for?" As much as he was trying to hide it you could hear the suspicion in his voice.

"Um" I paused, I hadn't thought to have an excuse for him. "I need some girl's advice about something and you know Alice. Always first to give her opinion on something." I awkwardly chuckled hoping he would assume it was about a girl. Which it was, he just didn't need to know which girl yet. He laughed as well.

"Yeah, that's Alice for you. I'm sure even if you didn't ask shed give you her opinion anyways. Hope it goes good man; don't let her run you over too much with her ideas."

"Yeah, I'll try. Thanks man." Me and Jasper exchanged goodbyes before getting off the phone. I immediately called Alice.

"Hello, is Alice available?" I was nothing if not polite; especially since I was gonna need a lot of her help.

"This is her. Who's this?" She sounded unsure of herself; this may have been the first time I'd ever heard that.

"Hey Alice, its Edward."

"Edward! Where did you go? Are you alright?" She shot off quickly at me.

"I went to Fairbanks, don't ask me why and I'm fine. How is Bella? Can I come over? I need your help." I asked her, suddenly nervous.

"Of course." Alice then gave me her address and we got off the phone as I sped over there. I was eager to find out what happened after I left and to get her help to fix this mess. I arrived at her house about 15 minutes later. She opened her front door as I was walking up the steps of her house.

"Come in Edward. And hurry, its cold out." Alice yelled at me. I hurried up the remainder of the stairs and into her house. Once inside I quickly shed my shoes and jacket. Alice led me to her living room to talk.

"Tell me what happened." I demanded before we'd even both sat down. I was dying to know. Bella's reaction would dictate how I would go about correcting this.

"Um, well not so good. She was really hurt, which made her really angry. She stormed out of the library after she read your letter and left school. I tried calling her after school but she's not answering her phone." She paused to study me for a moment. "She really likes you, ya know? That's why she's so upset. She feels betrayed. I think if it had just been some random person who lied to her this wouldn't be a big deal. But you or I guess I should say your letters were important to her. I think you made her feel special. And like she had someone to herself. She alluded to that after our fight over you and the letters."

I sat speechless for a moment, contemplating what Alice had said. My heart sang when she said that she thought Bella really liked me and that I made her feel special. But it dropped a moment later when I realized that this was worse because of those facts. It was an even bigger betrayal.

"How can I fix this? Do you think she'll ever talk to me again?" I pleaded with Alice.

"Well, I think she will. I hope so. But I think it's going to take a lot of effort from you to get her to come around. Bella can hold a grudge like its nobody's business. First thing you need to do is tell Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. Because you will definitely need their help." I nodded as I already figured as much.

"I'm gonna need your help with that." I told her. "I don't know them as well as you do." Alice nodded.

"I know you will. I think the first person you should tell is Jasper. He's the most rational and forgiving one of the group. And if he's not I can help you with him. Plus once you tell him, he can help you with Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie is definitely the one to be the most worried about."

"I know. I've seen angry Rosalie a few times and she scares me." I admitted, which Alice just laughed at.

"Don't be afraid of Rosalie. She's mostly talk, and she only is like that because she cares so much." My exhaustion must have been apparent to Alice. "Go home; we have all weekend to hammer the details out of this. Call me in the morning and we'll get together and figure this out. I'm on your side."

"Not Bella's?" I had to ask her.

"Your side is Bella's side. She just doesn't know it yet. Bye Edward." Alice pulled me off the couch and into a tight hug before pushing me towards her front door and out it. I drove home silently, just wanting to go to bed. Luckily both my parents were out and I was able to slip in and get right to bed. Wanting to get the night over so I could start tomorrow working with Alice.

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**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Okay, I am sooo sorry for the delay. RL has been a little crazy and by a little I mean alot. But I think I'm back more regularly. Hope I still have some readers out there.**

**Please read and review...you know those little love notes that make me smile? Yeah, send me one of those. It means faster updates.**

**Also..I am in need of a Beta. And a friend. Hopefully the two can be combined. Please apply here. **

**Also...I can be found on my (new) Twitter account. Add me, we'll have fun. aiden_28  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Not my characters,** just my storyline.

**Chapter 14**

**EPOV**

Alice and I spent Saturday chatting online, with her giving me tips for talking to Jasper. I was pretty nervous to tell him about the letters since we had actually become friends and I didn't want him to think badly of me. Alice kept assuring me that Jasper would be fine with it and would forgive me, but I wasn't convinced.

I called him up on Saturday and asked if he wanted to come over and work on our project for school. I figured that was an easy way to see him so that I could explain everything. So Sunday afternoon had me pacing around my house worrying. My parents were in Anchorage on a date which, I figured, would be perfect in case Jasper started yelling. I didn't really want my parents to witness their only son get his ass handed to him-verbally or physically.

Jasper finally showed up 15 minutes late which according to Alice was 15 minutes early for Jasper.

"Hey Edward, you ready to start the formatting of this thing?" he asked as he set his backpack down next to the couch in the library.

"Yeah, I found some pretty cool paper for it too. It looks old, but is pretty thick. I figured we can glue printouts to it." I pulled the paper from behind the couch to show him. I was too scared to start talking to him right away so I got to work on the project. Jasper proved to be a great partner for the project, hard working but also great at lifting the tense atmosphere. Hours had gone by unnoticed before my stomach growled for food.

"Hey Jasper, I'm starving. How about we take a break and eat. I think we have some leftover lasagna from last night we could have." I turned to him as I stretched my back. Jasper wearily nodded and followed me from the library to the kitchen. I pulled the pan of lasagna out of the fridge and cut and plated us two large portions. I put the first slice in the microwave and opened the refrigerator looking for something to drink. I poured us both tall glasses of milk and then gave Jasper his food and replaced it with mine in the microwave. Within minutes we were silently eating at the kitchen bar. As I ate I tried to figure out exactly how to tell Jasper about the letters and my involvement. Knowing that with Jasper, being straight up was the way to go. It was now or never, and never was not an option for me anymore.

"Jasper, you know those letters Bella was getting?" I refused to look at him as I asked; sure my face would give me away.

"Yeah, why?" He slowly asked.

"Well, I wrote those letters to Bella. All of them. And she found out on Friday." I said nervously. I closed my eyes afraid to see Jasper's reaction. I waited, seconds ticked by. I became more anxious with each one. I finally cracked my eyelids opened and turned my head to face Jasper. He didn't look angry like I assumed he would be, he looked thoughtful.

"Why?" He eventually asked.

"It's stupid, but I wanted to get to know her better. I was warned early on that she doesn't let many people close. My dad used to write my mom letters all the time and that's where I got the idea." I watched him mull that over silently. His inaction was starting to worry me.

"So you didn't do any of this to hurt her right?"

"No!" I practically shouted at him. "I really care about Bella and would never want to hurt her. That's why I finally told her it was me that wrote the letters." Jasper slowly nodded his head.

"Alright, then. It seems to me that maybe you need some help getting the girl back. I may be able to help you with that. As I'm sure Alice is as well." I was shocked, I couldn't believe he wanted to help me.

"Not that I don't desperately need it and am happy you're offering, but why are you willing to help me? I hurt one of your best friends."

"Because I can tell you care, you're pretty obvious about it, at least to me." I frowned, unsure if others could see it. "I'm sure Alice and I are the only two who've noticed. None of the others are that observant." He assured me.

We talked for a few more minutes about how Jasper figured me out so quickly before I cleaned up our dishes and we got back to work on our project. Later as we put the final touches on our project he agreed to help me talk to Rosalie and Emmett-together. He was sure this was the best way to handle those two.

As I was not going to school the next day Jasper agreed to call me once he was out of class and have me meet up with Rose and Emmett to talk.

After Jasper left I went straight to my room, exhausted from the long day I'd had. I fell asleep quickly anxious for another day to start.

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**This is my first (!) beta'd chapter and I would like to thank my new friend Amber! She's amazing! Hope you enjoyed and see you next time.**


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